Are German Guys Flirty?

As I’ve been observed, German guys have high manners in public places. So although they spot a good looking girl, they will just look and not doing any action. This is probably because they are also shy people.

However, the situation will be different when they are drunk. Suddenly they become flirty and brave. So be careful, if suddenly there’s a guy come to you, out of nowhere in public places, asking your name or telling that you are beautiful; then surely that guy is drunk!

No joke in this. At least there’re two times that I tried to escape from these kinda guys!


Anonymous said...

hi! i'm an italian girl. i've just read your story with german guys and i have to say that i totally agree with you!

can i tell you my story with a german guy? maybe you will be able to give me some advices or tell me what you think about it.

it began in summer 2007. i was on holiday in a camping and i met him. so beautiful, smiling...
he was very shy. i finally went out with him during the evening. it was difficult: we all both were shy and embarassed. but we finally kissed and it was wonderful.

but it was the last day of holiday, he came back home the day after. we chatted a little on msn but he was shy on msn too.

from autumn until summer, we only chatted twice.

and in june 2008, we chatted again on msn just before holidays. but, this time, he didn't seem shy at all. he chatted a lot (on msn), nearly all the days.
it was obvious that he wanted to go out with me too. so i am sure that i was going to take an awesome holiday with him...

but, the first evening on the camping, we flirted, but he we had drunk a lot and it was the first day so i didn't let him kiss me. just flirted.

the third evening on the beach, he was drunk, and i drank a little too but i wasn't drunk. we went out during all the evening. he said me things like "i waited for one year" or "you're too good for me". but when we drank with our friends and i told him he was drunk, he also told me "yes, a little but you, you are not drunk enough"....

and the day after, NOTHING!!! nearly like if we doesn't know each other... and it was this way during all the rest of the holiday. except maybe an other evening, we chatted a little... i was so sad because i am in love with him

so, you see, it's like you tell.

thanks a lot if you read til here (besides my english is not very good so i hope you managed to understand what i wanted to say).

can you tell me honestly what do you think about it?
was he still really shy during the holiday and he dared to kiss me because he was drunk?
or was he just a nerd? i mean a flirty guy??

Anonymous said...

Two beers or not two beers that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them.

If you want to pick up us German guys with one line it will be: I am so drunk!
And we will feel comfortable.
The fear of failing hinders most delights. True.

Truth is also: Most of us don't expect girls to be interested in flirting etc. Impossible!..girls want to be left alone, right? We ignore the time you must have spent choosing the skirt and putting make-up. Even if you come and smile and look and flirt we think: She certainly does not want me to bother her with stupid small talk or weird dancing.
Logics are a major thing here. It is logical to go drink a beer. Also logical to smile, look and show that you are there. However not logical to come and say Hello! And beer reigns over logics..

So if you want to get in touch, do the move and do not wait. At least show unmisleadingly that you want to talk, dance, flirt etc.
Or wait for a long time until one does traditional moves, out of age and come to talk to you.

The most pretty girls in Germany will be the loneliest. Nobody dares approaching them. We prefer not to fail. Tragic commedy.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I've just read these post and hope it's not too late to answer.
I think German guys are not too direct or flirty as other guys from the South of Europe, culture has a lot to do with that.
It's universally true that EVERYONE when drunk is not as shy as before but why should we wait till guys approach to us? maybe as one of you said... he didn't even realised that my smile meant 'I like you' and he thought I was just being nice...
The problem is... that sometimes girls don't behave straight away and say what we think to don't make u frighten!
Boys sometimes run away when they think they're not controlling the situation. But this is how it's been with my past experiences... Glad that not all guys are the same (hopefully)!
Anyway I so much like a German guy and yes... it's far too difficult cause it's impossible to know what he thinks and what are his intentions...

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Anonymous said...

Hi Italian girl. I'm an Australian girl and have had similiar oddities with German men (two)! I mean, mate, this German guy that was an intern at my work was the hottest thing I ever seen. He literally had me at 'Hullo!' lol. Well anyways, you must take the lead with these German guys. No playing hard to get crap, cos then NO ONE will make the first move. You just got to go straight up "Listen up! YOU and ME are GOING OUT on Friday night okay!?!" This is not to be said like a question, it must be said as fact. And if you want to know what is on there mind, you have to be REALLY direct or you are going to waste alot of time trying to find out using vague statements. Here is an example:
Hot German Guy is acting all shy/ or deep thinking/plain odd and it's making you feel akward, just go 'MATE! I ain't gonna sit here wandering what is on your mind all night! Do you like me or what? If not I am OUT of here!" Or: "Are you going to start making some moves or do I have to?" In fact don't even ask him. Just go for it.

Also, here are some stuff that hot german guys like talking about: politics, philosophy, how they can speak latin, beer, there travels and as you would know, they are really deep in conversation when you get the right topic- which is great.

Basically, be direct, don't try to f%&k them for at least a week or longer. This makes them think you're 'Oh SO sweet'... (meanwhile u want to rip he's clothes off as soon as he walks in the door). Also most can be very direct with how they word things- don't freak out- be even MORE direct with them to the point of being shocking. When a german guy likes you, you can tell just like any other guy in the world.

However, they take ages to make a move, which is why you feel you are falling in love with him (the confusion/ mystery etc)- this is what i think the secret is with these german guys. Basically, be upfront and direct; next time say to him "Dude? Do you like me or not, if not piss off and stop wasting my time. If so kiss me you fool!" Works.

Anonymous said...

well i knew this german guy and we used to make out everywhere...and he was never drunk...

Anonymous said...


I half agree with the long comment above. No. 1 thing is that you should not hesitate(but remember that rejection exists too) and no.2 you should not insult any one in a vulgar fashion

(I am a girl)

CHIDASA said...

Hey guys,

Well my time to tell my experience :

the first time i saw him ... I was amazed.... Wow.... He must be out of my league.... But

i met him at a halloween party... he was definetely drunk... he was dancing... We started flirting etc...

i found him sweet when he asked... Can i kiss you? I fell in love with him.....

Then we danced and kissed.. Flirted.. he asked me my number... and if i wanted to go somewhere else...

important.... He was already dancing with other girls...before me ...

Well he wanted to come to my place... But it was not posible for me so .. I asked him to go to hin place instead .

whenever i kissed him i felt high ... My heart beat ... 100% and i felt he left the same.....

as u asid before... He was why.... In bed... And since i am too.. I didnt know how to control the situation....

we talked a lot... We connected

It was so difficult in bed .... he was why... I had to asked him and tell him what to do...

we held hands, we held eachother ahilé sleeping... Like a couple..

Next day.. Cruel reality....

he was as Cold as the fucking winter in germany. he talked to me like friends... he had forgotten important info we had exchanged last night...

I wanted to hold him and kiss him so muchhhh
he took me to the train station, on the way... He held my hand ... And when we were saying bye.... I kissed him.. I couldnt resist myself.. And i asked him why he hand nt kissed me before... And he said why i hadnt done it too...

i thought he would ask for my facebook but nop that didnt happen...

i asked him: sooo, we keep in touch..... do u have my number? .. And he said.. Ohh yeah ur number give me your number...

i had to ask him for his facebook .. And he hardly replied my SMS ...... what should i do then....?

is he shy... Or i should just ignore the feelings i got for him...

whenever i try to say sth sweet... I dont get the same....:s

asti said...


Thanks for sharing your story. Sorry for that, but I guess he's just not that into you. So don't waste your time. Forget him and move on. Good luck, chica!

Anonymous said...

hi i am a filipina girl, i have a boyfriend german.. we are working here in singapore both of us.. well, as i will confessed to you guys.. he is very mysterious at first that he is very shy and was told me that he likes me.. but i was too deeply in love with him but never told him.. i just go on with the flows as we started going out.. finally, when he was in Bali, with his parents from germany that was having their vacation here in asia, i often send him an sms, that i was so upset of his moves that he told me he likes me that he wasn't prepared enough to give the final relationship as lovers.. and so i never did sms him for a couple of days, til he still gives me sms and told me he misses me, but i ignored him.. finally, he told me that i touched his heart and he loves me now, i am always in his thoughts, then when they arrived here in singapore i met his parents.. and now? i feels the most sweetest thing a German guy could do.. :))

asti said...

Hi Filipina girl!
Thanks for sharing it... Yeah German guys are complicated but in the end you managed to get him... so congrats! Hopefully it'll last forever :)

anaili said...

I started to read all your post and felt immediately identified.

Here is my situation. I was in Germany and date over a month a german guy. When I have tu came back to my country we both were sad and said that was a shame we hadn´t more tiem to be together. But was clear that none of us were interested in a long distance relationship. After this we always wrote emails and messages almost every week during a year. Then we arranged to have holidays together and traveled to meet again in other country. We meet and everything was like a year ago, ok more or less.

But the point is that he never told me what does he want with me, a relation or just hook up? we just said again that a long distance relationship is complicated. Now I´m again in my country back from vacations asking me what is this? is he interested in me? or he just want company for the holydays.

I´m a mess now, cause he wasnt also very special with me, never try to impress me, is this a german thing?? we kissed, handle hands and so, but still I have many doubts

Anonymous said...

I disagree! I visited Germany just last week actually (im living in France a the moment). Anyway I was in the German Historical Museum in the worls war II area and a german boy who was following me for awhile finally said hello and we chatted i found out a lot like nis name... his age... that hes in the military and was there with military school... he found out my name, my age, that i live in canada, that im living in france for 3 months and that i was only in berlin for 5 days. He also said 'you are very beautiful' in which i replied 'thank you, you arent so bad yourself' of course i think some germans are shy but its the same with canadians or americans. Not everyone in one country can be outgoing there is always going to be shy people who only talk when theyre drunk. So you cant label them all as shy and only talkative when theyve been drinking.

-Jordyn, 17

Anonymous said...

Hi there..I want to share with u about a German guy I met. Hes super cute and I must say he's polite. We met on dating line and for the last 2 mths, I dated him 3 times. I like him but he's being honest telling me hes dating other women too, and meeting up with his ex GF sometimes. I agree with the 'politeness' and being gentleman. He picked me up, pay the tab and also he even cooked dinner at his penthouse. But when he says hes 'busy' I don't get it. And its so confusing that he only texts instead of calling. And this German guy does not need to get 'drunk' to approach women. I don't know and if he remains the same I could just date other men instead right?

Anonymous said...

thanks for sharing your stories. i also have a story to tell. i am asian and many german guys show interest in me but i wonder if it just physical. in the past i have dated 2 german guys. the 1st german guy i met - he picked me up and we had a casual sexual relationship for about 6 months. because of his cold, little weird nature i didnt want to get emotional. he said he enjoys being single and doesnt want to marry. i actually don't know if he was lying or being serious. the 2nd german guy i met in america at some school event- i picked him up. cos i knew he liked me but he was little shy and didnt have a big ego to start a big move. so i just started flirting and he got my lines. that night we flirted, danced together, talked, held hands, and kissed. but the next day we flew to different cities. but we kept the communicating with each other through emails, facebook, texting -still very flirty and romantic but no emotions attached - just enjoying the chats, talks. 4 months after we met at the same conference again and stayed in the same city. on the first 2 days we had that strong flirtation and chemistry. but on the 3rd day he acted weird. at the hotel i saw him walking to elevator and he saw me and pretended he didnt see me. it was very weird. after i came back to my city i went online and he was there and asking me how bad stomachache he got. i didn't believe in him. but anyway he kept IM-ing each other from long distance. that was first year. soon i had a boyfriend and was in a relationship for about 1.5 year and he still kept emailing me and facebooking me. he frequently followed me on facebook and even mentioned how he liked my dresses etc. basically he became my secret admirer from a far away country. after i broke up with my boyfriend i continually talked to him online via skype, IMing and facebook. he asked how i was doing and how he cared about me and blah blah. i didn't buy it. 6 months ago he came to america for vacation from germany. we met half way in a city and spent the weekend together. i thought the fate brought us together after 3 years and i decided to see what happens. this was the actual moment i spent with him in person. and i learnt that we don't really have much in common.i didn't really feel anything. also i believe that if a guy likes a girl he should pay the bill no matter what race you are. that's what real, respectful gentlemen do. but he doesn't pay. he goes dutch. he even asked me to pay the half the hotel room we stayed. it all sounded to not gentlemen type to me. after that meeting i decided not to contact him but he kept IM-ing and facebook me. he said he is coming to america for vacation again and wants to see me. i told him it was just one-time thing and it's over now . he said he likes me, cares about me and wants to see me again. he repeatedly said i could even visit him in germany. i am not interested. why is he saying such stuff? is he taking advantage of me?
and now the 3rd guy comes in. he is super hot german i ve met so far. he is my neighbor. he is 2 years younger than me. and he said he dated older girls. he is very open minded and talks about everything, we have a great conversation and chemistry. he friended me on facebook and got my number and texted me first. and he first suggested to get together. but he hasn't taken any action. i was the one who asked him to take a walk with me. we did. we had another great time and talked a lot. since then he remained quite. and i facebooked him about getting drinks together. he agrees. so there are some lines that he is still into me but why he isn't he asking me out? is it because he is younger than me and always given the lead to the women? also he mentions of making clear of relationship from the beginning. what's his intention?

asti said...

Wooow... I never thought this topic will draw some attentions... Thx for sharing all the stories and comments. And for those who still in puzzle with guys' attitude, hopefully you all find the answer soon... If a guy interested to a girl, he will just do anything. But if a guy starts acting 'weird' then he's just not that into you...

Anonymous said...

here's my story. there's this gorgeous, adorable, sweet german guy with the hot accent who i call boss for an unrelated and pointless reason. i met him 2 months ago and he was definitely shy and sweet, but he asked me for my number. since the second day of us knowing each other he always texts me first, just saying nice stuff like "i'm very happy to meet you". and i swear, his laugh can cure cancer. and he laughs all the time, and we always spend hours, just laughing at pointless things. he always tells me he loves laughing with me. the thing is, he is definitely shy. he doesn't really flirt. and i love him so much, but i'm also very shy. so i haven't made a move either. but yesterday, he told me i'm the best friend he's ever had, and i cried. happy tears. and he hugged me tightly and didn't say a word or let go for 10 minutes. he's honestly the sweetest guy i've ever met and i often cry when i think about him. i need advice. i know that i need to make the move to make us more than best friends, but i don't know what to do.. i've never been so scared to lose someone.

Anonymous said...

About the drunk hero myth - I totally agree.
This German guy was my student. I give him Vietnamese lesson.
After a month we started to talk talk for the first time. After two weeks we got closer but nothing official yet. He went out with his friends, partying and at 3am he texted and woke me up in the middle of the night to say he missed me. Then I told him to come home. At 4 when he was in bed text me something about giving me good night kisses.
I felt he's so sweet and started to like him a lot. The next day he acted so cold for the whole week until I finally got vexed and asked him directly if he still cared for me. After like hours of talks he finally said he liked me. I just don't understand why a 27 years old guy could be so shy. But thanks to that I find his words trustworthy. He always assures me that he means everything thing he says.

asti said...

Hi! Thanks for sharing, it enriches the topic. Anyway, congrats! Hope you are happy :)

Anonymous said...

hello, I'm a Honduran girl and this is a cry for help!
I met a good looking german guy @ a bar in Honduras in February while he was at a backpacker trip with a friend of his, so that night we spoke about our mutual love on travelling. I asked him if I could have his email b/c I had a trip planned on September to germany & maybe he could tell me which places to go. By March I wrote him an email for some trip advises and that's where all started.

After few weeks had past he started talking to me through facebook chat, I have to admit that I wasn't so interested so my replies where kinda slow, but as time passed he won me, I've read and I have some european friends so I know that they tend to be cold & not so romantic as we latinos are but for some reason he has show interest in talking to me, on May he even called me for my birthday, by that time we've chatted a few times, that took me by surprise cause I didn't expect he would take the time to call me.

Now some months have past by and he has even told me he likes me, "te quiero" that makes my heart melt. We laugh very a lot, I've helped him with some spanish lessons & joke a lot.

Ever since a month ago we share more about our everyday activities & we skype for hours, what's been a surprise to me is that as everyone in here knows that Germans are very reserved with their personal life, but he shares a lot of things that going on with his family and even asks me what he should do for the future,he has called me drunk singing a lovely spanish song & saying he wish he could wake up everyday next to me and now I think about him all the time, he has been really nice to me & caring not like the german guy stereotype

Everything was going so great, we chatted & skype frequently than before, he even calls me by sweet names like "mi princesa or mi amor" he always making jokes w/me & laughing, excited about my trip to Germany, he showed me through skype his house & some picture of his family & his own when he was a kid.

But for the past 2 weeks he's been a little absent & cold so I decided it was the time to stop dreamin about something going between us, that he was just a fantasy cause nothing extraordinary happens to me & given the distance it wouldn't be more than that so if he didn't text me first I wouldn't text him at all so... we didn't talk for two days, I was dying to text him but I restrain myself by thikin bout "we are 10,000 kms apart"... after two days in agony hahaha he texted me "hello stranger I miss you!! it's been years since the last time we spoke..." (this also took me by surprise cause i thought he wouldn't do once again the first move) & so I answered him very sweetly telling him I missed him too then he was cold again.
After that, we kept talking but not as before, he's nice for a while, he flirts with me and when I start being sweet he gets cold, he has even stop liking my picture I upload in facebook (I've never liked one of his even though I think all of them are great) & commenting in them.

Remember his australian friend I mentioned @ the beginning? he added me to facebook & we talked a few times & he mentioned a lot my crush, he told me my crush was excited bout the batman's movie & that was something my crush got excited until I told him I was waiting so badly to watch it, he went to the movie to watch it & gave me some spoilers, after that coldness again.

So I don't know... for being a german guy he was always makin da first move, sharing personal stuff & flirting but now a month left for my trip to Germany he's being hot and cold... help? advice? What should I do while being in Germany??

Anonymous said...

Hi there,

Well well well..., I thought that I am the only victim of this German guy thing lol. Now I see that I am not alone I feel a whole lot better.

well, I just have a question; I met a german guy (supper handsome and athletic body, jizz!!!) at first he was attracted to my friend of mine. then during the night we had flirted and he came to the fact that he can communicate more with me than with my friend, so he just did switch to me! I didn't let him go that far because I felt this is not a sort of rational man!
But as he was God damn so charming, I couldn't resist when he touch me in his super mannish sexy way! I just enjoy and tried to controll him to not go further.
He staid at our place (me and my friend) but neighter of us had sex with him. Well, I know that was so strange but we already didn't promiss him anything except a friendly flirt and a cup of coffee, at least for that night.
However he asked my facebook Id.
He sat back of our computer and entered to his facebook and sent a request for me, then he asked me to inter to my facebook and add him, immediately!! well , I did it. Why not!

However, I didn't take him that seriouse!. I try to be logic rather romantice!, although sometimes I may fail, like this damn situation!lol

When we tooke him a taxi to send him back to home, he turned round and said me I will comment to your facebook photoes ok? I said ok.strange question isn't it?
Then He moved to Germany and nothing!. I thought maybe he hesitates.
Then I made my first move, just out of interest! I put some likes on some of his photoes and one comment. but againe no reaction.
Suddenly, I felt such a fool I am. off curse it was so stuppid and I just made a fool of myself!. I deleted my comment and Deleted him from my Friends list!.(Although I regret badly lol)

Surprisingly, I found him recently to became one of my subscribers! I know when you delet someone from your facebook friends, he/she will be unsubcribe automatically otherwise he will subcribe againe to you.

So what all these games mean! I just cant figure it out!
well, I am not in love though, but I am just fricky curious!.
We all Homosapians, and maybe this is a kind of game playing specially for German people, some codes that we dont underestand, we need to be only German in order to figure out right and move accordingly, otherwise that is gonno be crap...

Anyway, finally, I am here to tell u Good beautiful ladies there!. Do not take guys , specially German Guys that serious! They are so Abnormal:))

Good luck to everybody,xx.

Anonymous said...

Oh goodness i love serious guys. I'm a Mexican American and wish so badly that on my trip to Germany I find a sweet German or French guy to love me forevaa!! But reading the comments in this blog I'm somewhat repelled by these Germans and I haven't even met one personally!!! :/ Oh well i would certainly like my very first boyfriend to be from Europe, my American guy friends tend to be so shallow -.-

asti said...

@ Hungarian Girl: It seems that he always in-charge in your relationship. So it shows that he only care about himself. Whenever he wants it, he comes to you but he never care that you need to be heard or to be taken care of... But hey, it's your decision.

@ Mexican American: Please don't get intimidated with all the comments. You will know when the right guy comes...

Anonymous said...

Im a German Guy and my Age is 27. Don't blame for my Bad englisch. I think in Germany Many Guys are shy and they want to do a Woman always right (In my Point of View they are just sissy!). if you like a Guy which is shy, go Approach him, Most the Guys will like you for that.
If i Went to a Club in Stuttgart seeing the strategies of the Guys to Approach a Girl, its very Strange how they Act and Most of them won,t have success! But for me its good because then there are more Girls for myself ;)
Usually German Girls are shy too, and Most of them are boring for me. I like too Flirt for Fun and i Love Sex, allthough i try to treat every Girl good (Thanks to my Mother). Allthough Most of the Time i just want physical Things. I would Love to get in Touch with more Foreign Girls Cause they are mostly more Flirty than German Girls. And other cultures are interessting to me. So i wish all of you some experiences to the Guys you want. Have Fun an very Important enjoy yourself!!!

asti said...

@ Stuttgart Guy: Vielen dank für Ihre sharing...! I think your answer could make the girls understand better about German guys... :)

Anonymous said...

I think it depends on people. I met several German guy when I was travelling there. And I so liked a guy who were so well mannered and caring. I was so enjoyed spending time with him, and I really wanna regret later, so let him know I'm so caring him. We flirt a bit, but I found he tried to not to flirt with me. Because he felt like he had to take a good care of me as a friend. But when we both were left in the very romantic deck, we just kissed. And he was still shy about that. We slept together but at the moment we were on the bed, he told me he always feel so shy. But generally he was kinda so manly and highly friendly person. So I just felt it's so cute. But yes, next day, he was cold like nothing happened. He even told me he like me with flushed face. (Before I made first move.) I was so sad, and tried to keep the connection with him, but since I left Germany he rarely answer my text. So I just gave up. Considering he's not the kind of guy easily flirt with girls, I thought it was so meaningful he was saying he likes me. But nothing has left now.
But the other guy, also is a German, and he was so interested in me. He kept me texting, and even let me come back to Germany. He says he misses me, hope to see me back in Germany and liked the conversations we had. He was not shy at all. He even asked me if he can kiss me, if not he's gonna regret about not asking me for a kiss forever. (This even like a Italian!! )
Yeh, I miss the first German guy badly, but try not to think about him. The tragedy is from thinking of German guys really are shy. They're too attractive and sweet to ignore. Such a heartbreaker.

asti said...

Thanks for sharing :)

Anonymous said...

Hey i visited Berlin one week a ago. And i also met a german guy i am still thinking about him. Well i met him somewhere at a place in berlin. he is a "street artist" when i saw him i told to my friend he is soo hott i want to have a picture with him so we walked to him and ask him for a picture and his smile was soo cute and after the picture he asked what we are going to do in the evening i said i want to go out. And he gave his number. Later that night me and my friend were late and he was still waiting waauww i thought he is not serieuse and would not come . He said that he was so happy to see me and we went to a lounge he said that he likes me so much and thaf i am his type. I fell directly in love because his behavior is different than the dutch guys. He is a gentleman he hold my hands while walking and said that this is like a relationship. Hoo i am so happy that i can share my story i just keep thinking about him i also called him yesterday he said that he couldnt sleep at night because of me and he ask when i am coming back . I miss hiss hugss and kisses. In holland this kind of guys are rare ! Not to find. I hope that he doesnt play with my feelings that is the thing i am so scared about that he pretends to be real but is a total faker. I hope not.

asti said...

Thanks for sharing! Hope it'll goes well for you :)

Anonymous said...

Hallo alle miteinander, my name is David and im a 25 years old German from Cologne.

I have to give an example situation wich happened to myself a lot of times.

it was a friday afternoon and i was sitting in the u bahn when i noticed two fluent english speaking girls sitting behind me, i noticed them being very very cute.

i started thinking of a way to get in contact with them. Thoughts like me saying "Hello my name is david and i just HAD to speak with you!"

or simply "hey nice English, were are you from?"

came across but then i thought that i must sound like an idiot with my accent and my even worser school english

Just after thinking that, i noticed the bahn stopped and they took off... :(

i dont think im shy but i spend a lot of time seeking for a way that doesnt seem unpolite or too direct when talking to a cute girl so much that it comes out just as if i was shy.

that is really annoying sometimes. especially when i later regret the fakt that i just missed an opportunity.

hopefully i will find my true love someday and i wish you just the same. :)

P.S i hope my english is at least readable^^

asti said...

Hi David!
Thanks for your sharing. I hope the girls will understand more now. My advise: don't be shy with your english. Most of us also use english as second language, so we all non-experts. It's not the language that matters, it's the energy you project that matters: how you express your feeling, your attitude, etc. So good luck!!!

Kate said...

I'm so glad I stumbled upon this blog! I live in the US and we have a German exchange student with us now. He is shy, sweet and has a great sense of humor. I must admit I've developed a little crush on him. I've only dated Hispanic men and they tend to be pretty straight forward when they are interested, they don't leave you wondering. With this German man, though, I'm not sure what to do! He is ver chatty with me on FB but in person not so much. A few days ago we happened to be studying in the same room together and we ended up talking and then we had a 2 hour German lesson. We are planning on getting together next week for another lesson but who knows. I hope we do! Any tips?

asti said...

Hi Kate!
Thanks for sharing but I am not an advisor, so I am not sure I could give you good advise. Maybe just go with the flow and don't think too much about it. Just enjoy every moment with him...
Good luck!

whilmatschi plantilla said...

Try to be confident next time, us girls will appreciate you for that and your great. Gluck dear:-)

whilmatschi plantilla said...

Your english is great and next time try to be confident on approaching cute girls. Gluck:-) as girls will appreciate you for that:-)

Anonymous said...

well i met this german guy on speeddate and he was a super sweet guy and he would text every now and then by mail and called with pet names but soon things change when my friend befriended him on fb as she tried to check on him and found he had pics of a thai girl 2 years but no longer pics with any girl i thought he was playing me out i got angry and reemove from my fb friend list eventhough he was planning to meet me soon... but then i realise i sort of like him so my friend tried to talk to him and he did mention to her that he liked me but didnt like the way i treated him like a criminal...what made me so mad is because i called him so many times on his mobile doesnt pick with many ascuses and he said it too costly to text so he prefer to msg on fb or yahoo...later i befriended him back and he said he stop going after i said i dont to be friend with him if he has gf and he said we are not in a relationship but just friends but he still calls me names like sweety or honey is this the german peoples culture or ?? soon he wont msg me it was im the only msg him but he would reply then i saw another pic of him with his so called ex gf'smum pic so my friend again question him again this time was also suppose to meet me up but it didnt happen and again he mention that my friend is annoying keep picking on him and he mention again that we are not in arelationship but just friends....Later i try not msg him often but then we msg me by himself and i told he doesnt need to worry i wont asked him meet up anymore as i will be heading to Australia...and he said i will have to get a job in Australia so i can dive more times at the great barrier .I find he different from the fist time i knew him but we never met in person just via online chatting... i dont understand what he really wants someone please help...

asti said...

Oh well... I guess you should read the comments here for your references before going to the next step. Good luck :)

Anonymous said...

Why are German men soooo hot?!? I can't believe I am posting but I'm also having confusing signs from this guy....
I'm Filipina and oriental looking. I met him through work. He was our consultant. The first timeI met him he came up to introduce himself and during a dinner he came to sit beside me. I only saw him in a different light when we went ou the next day with the whole delegation. I saw him loosen up. He was a lot of fun!
Fast forward 2 weeks later, I went to Berlin for work. I sent him my schedule so that we can meet up. In Berlin, he sent me an email asking how the trip is going. I asked if he would like to go out with me and a friend. We ended up having dinner, just the two of us. Again, I saw this personal side of him. During the conversation he had asked if I had plans to get married and if I would consider living abroad. Hmmm?
Again, 2 weeks after that, he comes to Manila and we both get a bit tipsy in a club. I don't drink so I couldn't control my emotions. I would get jealous and conscious around him... He would always ask if I was alright. He was dancing in this dorky way which was so cute and he would make fun of un-German. But it really edeared him to me...
And then, my friend sees him dancing with another girl...probably even kissing! I was soo jealous that I wanted to go home. But then, he pops up and asks, "What's up?" To which I answered I wanted to go home. He then said he'll go home as well.
I told him I can drop him off but he keeps saying, I can't, I can't....I just can't. So I let him be.
An hour later, I get a text from him saying sorry. When I asked him why, he never texts until 3 days after. A very casual explanation.
Three days after that I send him the pictures of the night. He opens up the weird text messages we exchanged. I asked if he made sense of them to which he answers, "It's probably better like this.."
At that point I was getting tired of the game, so i reply, "If you say so..."
Then.......he counters, "Kidding! Let's figure it out together the next time we prepare for a hangover."
Seriously?!? What does it all mean? Everything is so cryptic and I thought Germans are direct people. Is he playing with me?
I've read most of the posts here and yea, he whole mystery makes women think they are in love...but it's just as a firnd puts it, a cat-string theory. Teasing us with strings and cryptic messages... :( What's the deal with these Germans?!???

Anonymous said...

Oh and....and he touches women..except me. He hardly lays a hand on me. You can see the spaces in pictures. Once he brushed his body against mine and he apologized profusely! :(

Anonymous said...

David, 25 from Cologne. Nobody cares if your English is bad or not so don't be conscious about it. We might even find your accent SEXY. Just approach us. :)

asti said...

Halo there Filipina girl!
Thanks for sharing your story. Yeah, it seems he's not serious about you. But maybe you have to ask him whether he's serious to you or not to ensure your feeling to him. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

hello everyone!!!

i'll get straight to the point. i met a german guy a few weeks ago and we went out for a drink as friends. (i didn't have a crush on him or anything like that). he was very polite and a bit shy i should say but we had a nice evening talking. the other time we went out for drinks again in the beginning everything was plain normal -2 friends talking- but after a few beers he made a move on me and we ended up making out after i said something flirty to him.
then after a few days we went out again and later on we slept together -we are not a couple- and after this day he talks to me of course but his behavior is the same like it was in the beginning. no flirting, no nothing. he talks to me like we're friends.
i don't think i am in love with him but i like him a lot and i just can't figure out what exactly does he want from me. i don't know if he's interested for something more like a relationship, or if he just want us to have fun with no strings attached and so on.

asti said...

Thanks for dropping by... I am not sure what he's up to, but since both of you are in a friend mode, maybe you can just ask him directly about his intention. Good luck :)

Anonymous said...

I also met a German guy recently. He asked me to do stuff with him, he was indeed punctual, as I, but he was also shy. I was able to talk to him about things, he didn't seem to dislike the small talk. I mainly just helped him understand the culture of the country I live in. After a short while, I found I really like him. I found. that to get a German guy, as a woman, you just have to be a bit aggressive. Not rude, polite, punctual, culturally aware. If you keep contacting him and initiating conversation he will reciprocate the conversation. German guys are extremely polite.

asti said...

Thanks for your insight :)

LoRichey said...

My boyfriend is german, he's pretty cool.

asti said...

Hi LoRichey!

Thanks for the insight. But can u share with us about how your relationship started? It may come handy for others.

btw, congratz to u!

Anonymous said...

Sure it's about becoming brave after several drinks too, but not only. It's a lot of examples here about how sweet-cold-sweet-cold german guys are. I just can't beleve I'm not the only one who met german guy acting like that. Looks like that's definitely tendecy.

Sounds pretty stupid, because we're both not teen-agers - but I can't get if I should be more direct or if i should play this game too to give him a chance to make a deсision about his inentions, or should I forget about him in this romantic way if he acts so.

Is it just their thing? Or they just like that sorta games? Are they uncertain persons? Or they know about their attractiveness in all meanings and just using this behaviour changes for making this mistery around (and to say that's totally works). Maybe they just used to live in a country around strong-minded and direct-behaviour women..

Kay said...

I fell in love with a german guy who lives in Cologne, Germany. He was gorgeous (6'2", golden walnut brown hair, golden hazel green eyes, sexy lips, amazing style and sort of reminds me of the Tim Borrmann the model, and he is very intelligent) he has a wonderful personality and is a great photographer, and is in college. He flited with me and told me i was beautiful. He was not a man of many words unless we were talking about subjects of his intrest which contain (education, photography, geography, beer). I have always had a thing for him and i thought he felt the same since he would smile at me. So one day i finally thought i would tell him how i felt about him. I told him he was very attractive to me, that he had a great personality and how handsome he was, but after that he didnt reply to me! What did i do wrong? Did i move to fast? I told him 3 weeks after we had met, i thought that had been plenty of time. Did he just not have feelings for me? Help!!!

asti said...

Hi Kay!

Thanks for sharing :)
Well i think you have experienced like many of people here. i don't know why he acted like that, but probably he felt that you are not challenging to catch anymore. So the fun of chasing you or getting your attention has over.

I hope things will get better for you :)

tracey said...

Last year I sat somewhere reading a book and suddenly a German boy sat beside me, asking me questions in German. My German is not really fluent and he can't really speak English.

I called him a boy cause I am 27 and he is 22. He didn't realize at first. I am Asian, so I kinda look younger by nature. He told me he thought I was 19 or sth. I gave him my number and he called me like immediately after I got on my tram home. :O He couldn't wait to see me again, so I said, politely, we could meet for a drink. I immediately informed him I am 27 and talked about my EX. He seemed really into me and asked if we could come to my place, I was like are you kidding me, boy. lol
Afterward, he text'd me and called me very excessively. I couldn't take him sysly cause I'd just gone through a heartbreak. I only sent him a Merry Xmas sms. He called me after I just talked to my EX and cried miserably. He's been comforting me and we are a lot closer now. He always acts very hurt if I say sth cynical about not believing in men or him, getting emotional if I say I meet with other men. I enjoy being protected by him, but still I am afraid he's playing once he knows I care about him. He opens up a lot about his past. I think German guys are more honest, but you can't say there are no players.

asti said...

Hi Tracey!

Thanks for sharing. I guess your bad experience has challenged him to win your heart.

Good luck :)

really_confused said...

Hello ladies,

I need some advice please :)

I've met a german man, he's divorced, early forties. We met online. We've been out on three dates, all fun, last one at HIS apartment where he COOKED dinner for me and kept pouring the wine, he's funny and polite. Thing is, he hasn't tried anything, not even touch me!! I am really confused. Also I should add that I am just terrible with the whole flirting thing. I don't know how to send 'signals' to men and all that :( any advice? One of his friends (he already introduced me to his best friends) hinted that he likes me. Bah. I am so confused and I don't know if he just wants to be friends or more.

asti said...

Hi Confused Girl!

The Germans are well known for their politeness. I think in your case, he needs a clear signal from you before he can go to the next level.

So give him clear signal and good luck :)

Anonymous said...

your english was great:)

Anonymous said...

nice story:)

Anonymous said...

thats good english to be german:) good luck on talking to cute girls:)

Anonymous said...

nice story:)

Anonymous said...

thanx for sharing:)

Anonymous said...

i am so sorry about that:( hope everythinh worx out:)

Anonymous said...

good luck to all:)

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad to read everyone's stories. I'm an American girl, and I hosted a couple of German guys for a week as they travelled around the US. They were so gallant that I was so surprised and pleased, because in the South, our men are starting to forget. Anyway, I immediately felt attracted to this one guy, and I don't think I've ever had an easier time feeling comfortable around someone, but I'm having a hard time figuring him out.

We stayed up late chatting each night, and he would come help me when I'd take care of the pets. He mentioned at separate times that the big cities were nice,but he liked open areas and nature like at our home in the woods. He also mentioned that he hopes to make a family where he can have as many pets as I do with someone who can take care of them at home. We chatted about sports cars and motorbikes for a while (I used to own a firebird and mustang, and wish I could have a Ducati) and he made efforts to come back to converaations he knew I liked. And he got along really well with my family! They adore him!

While we were putting targets up, he was nice and helped me reach the high spots because I'm so short, etc... And on the last night, we played cards and drank a little and we were always touching -- our feet, our arms, our fingers -- even though there was plenty of room at the table. This touching thing happened at the biergarten and beach, too, even though there was room. On that last night when his friend went to bed, we both paused in the hall in front of our rooms after saying goodnight and just STARED at each other. I was trying to figure out if he was signalling something, because I've never been staerd at like that before, but eventually I thought that either he was trying to figure out why I was hesitating, or maybe I'd just freaked him out so much that he was just looking at me funny, so I felt silly and exited quickly after that.

We keep in touch over SMS and he'd like to visit our place again for another week next month. We made plans to go to clubs and the beach again, plus some more fun stuff. But what do I do? He makes efforts to keep in touch with everyone he meets, even my sister's fiance, and it isn't like saying he wants to start a family like mine means he wants my family to join with his, right? Plus I'd feel bad if his friend felt discluded. : ( What do I do?

asti said...

Hi American Girl!

Thanks for sharing, but I also don't know what to say... Maybe he needs more time to be sure that you're the right one...

Well I can only wishing u tons of luck!

Formerly Confused said...

Hello everyone!

I am the 'confused girl' who posted earlier, I thought I'd give you an update! After a few more confusing dates as friends, my German guy finally made a move, yay! We've been together for 2 weeks now and he's pretty awesome, funny, polite, sociable, friendly and very good in bed, lol. After we got together I told him that he had me very confused and he just giggled and said he knew that already, lol. But he explained he was in no hurry and wanted to get to know me better and make sure we were on the same page, and also was waiting for the best moment to make a move. Looking back, he was right, the night he had me over for dinner would've been too soon to get physical, and as for the other dates, there was always something getting in the way and I guess he wanted to make sure the logistics were right, sort of speak. We've been seeing each other constantly for the past two weeks and although is very early days, things are looking promising and I'm really enjoying getting to know him. I'm so glad I was patient, it was worth it! Good luck everyone with your German sweethearts :)

asti said...

Hey 'Confused Girl'!

Thanks for the update. It's so nice of u to share your happiness to us.

So how did your guy finally made it official? What did he do? Can u also share that pls?

Well I feel happy for u. Congratsz!

Formerly Confused said...

Well this is how it went down, basically we had been going out for dinners, drinks, etc but not in a romantic way which is why I was very confused. This went on for a month or so. Then finally one day he invited me to a party in another city, which involved a hotel overnight stay, which he arranged for, and a week before he very politely asked me if it was ok with me to share a room, lol. I said it was ok by me, although in my head I was thinking that well, two adults in a hotel room, of course there is potential for something to happen but I will not feel forced to do anything unless I really want to! That day he picked me up, we drove to this other city (1h drive) and we spent the afternoon having a long lunch and chatting away, after which I was feeling more relaxed and I could tell he was too. Finally when we checked in at the hotel we cuddled a little bit (I was starting to go down with a cold so perfect excuse for some cuddles!) and well, you can imagine the rest, lol.

The day after I got pretty sick with the flu so he took me over to his place so he could take care of me, which I thought was incredibly sweet. He cooked dinner and I slept at his place. After that weekend, he finally admitted he planned everything in such a way to create this opportunity for us to spend some time alone together and move things to the next level.

Since that day we've had a few sleepovers either at my place or his, and we are in touch daily via phone calls, texts, and Skype. He also has met my friends.

There wasn't a 'defining talk' if you know what I mean, we simply started to make plans to see each other as often as possible and he left his toothbrush and deodorant at my place, lol. We did have a chat and agreed how we will handle our dates in public and how/when he will tell his daughter about our relationship, and until that happens I will consider our relationship to be exclusive but not yet committed, just for the sake of being cautious! (See, the Germaness is already rubbing in, lol). But I can tell he is definitely committed in the short/mid term at least, to keep spending time together and continue getting to know each other :)

Things I really like about my German:

- he is very transparent, he says what he thinks even if that's a little blunt!
- he plans dates in advance. I know exactly when I a going to see him!
- He is reliable, calls when he says he will and keeps his promises and commitments.
- Good communication, he doesn't disappear for days and whenever I don't see him he tells me what he is up to, I never have to ask where/who is he with, lol.

Things I am not super happy about but accepting them for the sake of compromising:

- Bluntness! but I guess is part of being transparent..
- Sometimes the way he chats online, sounds very formal/business like/militarized, lol (i.e. 'lets touch base this PM re. tomorrows' plans', lol). Again, I guess is a cultural thing.
- Less compliments and PDA's than I am used to, at least in public. But more affectionate in private. I think is just his shy, reserved nature.

Overall I'm really happy at the moment and looking forward to getting to know him better and hopefully making things official soon, I'll let you know how it goes!

asti said...

Wohoooo...!!! Thanks for the story... Am sure other readers will find it helpful... So enjoy the relationship! :)

Zara said...

I have to say.. I'm loving these posts! You women are so strong for sharing your troubles! It puts me at ease to disclose my own.
I'm from India and I met my german boy when I picked up from the airport for my friend (she was at college that day) not knowing he was a boy (funny story). I was instantly physically attracted to him, but I found out he was so kind and generous and just generally in love with India that it made me realize I wanted a friendship with him more than anything. I really respected him and my friend said she saw major chemistry between us. We spent a day in the rain under an umbrella just talking and had a quiet, drenched dinner. He came over to my place and won my parents over, but soon he had to leave for Germany and it left things in the wind.

We stayed friends and wrote to each other daily. After a year I would say, he finally asked for my phone number and we began to text. Initially it was about silly things, but soon he would send me pictures..of everything- his new haircut, his apartment, his life in Germany.. and I found out I was moving to England so he promised he'd come for a visit when I moved in. He even mentioned wanting to return to India, but as my guest this time. Soon our texts went on to become light flirations ( i think). he would wink at me and kiss me in the emoticons. when he'd say good night he'd always put the kissing face and would say that he'd contact me in the morning (which he would), he'd talk to me when he was drunk. he's used pet names for me and he called me hot once (and i just blushed away!), however, I still dont know if he sees me as a friend or he's trying to show that he's interested. It's all very confusing because we've stayed friends for so long! I think about that summer when we met for the first time and how I shared a completely romantic moment with a stranger and it makes me feel like whatever we have right now may just be friendly and I don't want to misinterpret it. My friend told me that when he lived in India, a very close girl- friend of his fell for him because he was so kind to her, and when he found out he became even kinder (instead of ignoring her.. because he wanted to remain friends with her) so i dont want to misinterpret his friendliness for flirtiness, because i do not know how he was with her.. and I do know that at the very least I have him as a good friend, but I still dont want to scare him away if I initiate anything. what are your thoughts?

Dear David,
Girls will definitely find you cute if you put the effort! and they'll think your "bad english" (which believe me isnt bat AT ALL) is adorable! trust me on this one.

asti said...

Hi Zara!

Thanks for sharing... Well maybe you have to see how things going when you are in Europe. I am sure there will be a point where he express his feelings for you.

Good luck :)

Anonymous said...

I need help here....I'm so confuse now. Well, I don't really into one night stand thing but the night I met a German guy, he is friend's friend, and we drunk a lot and he was trying to get me home, well, I refused him at the beginning but he tried, because we r both very horny and I flirted with him. Then I found out he is cute, so things happened. We had nice sex and I stayed his apt and left in the following day afternoon.
He told me that he liked me the moment I went to the party even though he didn't talk to me too much at the beginning
Problem is I told him in a joking way that don't call me again, just one night thing. And he really didnt contact me, we'll, just two days anyway.
I kinda like him but I don't wanna one night thing but something more. But seems difficult now since we had the night.
Should I contact him now and how should I make sure we r not gonna have one night thing but something else. Is it difficult to start over?

asti said...

Hi there!

Thx for dropping by. Just read through the comments and I think you'll find an enlightenment.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Hello everyone, well i am very impressed by your stories and i can relate to the description of german men, being cold and shy and humourless! I am from Egypt and i am engaged to a dutch/kurdish guy but it is not going so well. SO during an exchange cross culture in Egypt, i met this good looking hot smart german guy. We were in the same team for 6 days together with another german guy and an egyptian girl. He was very nice, payed 3 times my bill over dinner but he was very shy, never talks about personal stuff and when i tried to ask him more about relationships he said that he didnt have much relationships so he doesnt have anything to say. I asked the other german guy about him and he said that he just never was in long serious relationships! He is back to germany for 1 day now and we might not meet again, who knows! but i am interested in him and i do not know how to show that if he is that cold and german :) He did text me when he was back to germany and thank me for a silver ring that i gave him and thats it. though when we hugged before he leaves at the airport we hugged in an emotional nice way. So shall i just drop it and pretend nothing happened or shall i tell him in a more clear way or try to have more contact. I do not feel guilty about my current fiancé as i know that this relationship will end as we have problems for more than a half year and everything is getting worse. SO how can i know if he is interested or not? and might the culture and religion differences be the reason why he doesnt think of a relationship?

Anonymous said...

When i read this page it's caught my attention,..thats why i want to share my own experience about german guy.
I met him last january through chatting site apps. Then we started to send messages about ourselves then we start texting, calling and skype. It felt like we know each other so well his so honest he told me everything about his background bad and goo things and same as me. Then after 2 weeks we decided to meet personally. I went to his place,..i met his son (he was seperated but his son is living with him,..and i was still married that time but he knew it). And during my first night there we had sex and its awesome his so gentle and....i cant explain but i felt the chemistry. Then it happened quite often i been to his place every weekend (friday until saturday) 3 times a month. But his son thought that i slept over to the guest room.
And then march when i was there i was just chocked because he told to his son that i slept with him so that i dont need to get up early and hiding. I really like him and he told me he like me too and his son like me too. I was so touched and i thought it was just me who was missing. I was on a complicated relationship that time but he knew about it,...because we are honest to each other. Until my ex and i decided to got devorce,..i moved out and found an apartment. That german guy used to give me an advices and he said if goes alright maybe we can try, sounds sweet because i know that im falling on him. And then after one week he called me and asked if i wanna joined with him and his son out of town so i can relax and i said it felt like we are family and im so happy. Our situation goes like that i spend my weekend there and i used to help him to clean his house and i used to buy something to his son.
When i was there end of May he told me he wanna say something (we drinking that time but we are not drunk) and i said what is it,..then he said: "there is something you should know i was chatting with a latin girl last year and now shes here in Sweden for vacation to her sister and she send me email" , heart beated so fast i dont know what i should say then i just said "do u wanna meet her?" and he said maybe,.."but i dont wanna lost you as a friend"he said,...i walked to the restroom and cried,..then when i get back with him he started to flirt me then it we had sex again,..
Then when im home he send me a sms that the girl send a message to him,...and he told me that maybe i need to know that because he just want to be honest,..then i told him that i love him and he said he knew it,..but we are still friends he said,..
Then few days after he send me a txt that the girl is coming to his place but he dont know how long,..then i asked him like this "so im not allowed to come to your place anymore?" But he answered like this "maybe much better if i try/check out what will happen först but we are still friends" he told me he will let me know what will happen to them with a latin girl,..
My question is do i need to wait for there result?
What that german guy think about me a replacement? But i really love him and it hurts,..but we stil change messages but a little bit colder now,..that his new girl is coming next weekend and its killing me,..just dont know what to do i thougt everything is going alright because i expect that one day maybe he can offer me to live with him and his son,..:(((
Ms. MG

asti said...

Hi MG!
Is that story for real? Because if it is, then why should you stay with him? He obviously doesn't care that you get hurt. As long as he can still sleep with you, that's all he cares. If I were you, as hurt as it feels, I would leave him. It's unbalanced relationship. It'll getting worst... Hope you know what I am talking about.

Anonymous said...

Hi Asti
We are not living together i just spend my weekend sometimes to his place if i'm free,..The latin girl just arrived here in Sweden 3 weeks ago and during that time he became cold to me,..they dont see each other in person yet,..they are going to meet this coming weekend,..and it feels so fucking annoying,..but i cant say how hard it is for me,..because we are just friend,..
But we are still texting until now but not like before,..
Do i have to stop texting him? Im just really inlove,..but i know i need to give some space,..its so dificult just,..

asti said...

Hi MG!
When I said "why should you stay with him", I meant why you still in contact with him.
Why this Latin girl should make him cold to you? If he finds her attractive, will he start a relationship with her? Then what about you? What about your wonderful time together? They all suddenly means nothing to him?
To my understanding, he is too flirty to everyone.

Anonymous said...

He said he just wanna try her but he dont want to lost me as a friend i just dont fucking understand that, i guess if they dont work out he will get back to me,..and thats unfair,..

asti said...

Wanna 'try' her? [speechless]

Anonymous said...

Hey loves :) I'm from malaysia and myrace is indian mixed kayan. Most people mistaken me for a latina or a hawaiian girl. I guess I look exotic haha. Anyways I met a german guy a year back. He was on his solo journey around the world. We met while buying candy haha he was super blur so I helped him out by speaking chinese to the candyman. And then he just followed me the whole night. It was a fiesta going on so he just followed me and we talked the whole night. There were bars and clubs around and offered to buy me a drink. But I declined he offer because I didn't drink that time (I was 17 he was 19..I started drinking alcohol the next day with my college pals haha) he wanted to see me again but I said I was busy with meds school. He stayed an extra 4 days just so thathe could see me again. We met up but I was too occupied with my mates and felt bad I didn't get to spend much time with him. We kept contact on facebook and he travelled all over before making in back to germany. I didn't let him kiss me cz I was still a freshman in meds school and super nieve and was still a goody two shoes. He wanted to hold my hand but woahhh I totally friendzone him :( (sometimes I think,why the hell did I did that mistake) I've liked german guys since I was 12 thanks to Philipp Lahm haha. Anyways.. I stumbbled upon this discussion because I'd like to put it out there, as charming as a french guy is( I just got back from a month in france) and as smooth as an italian guy, german guys are my favourite. Although.. My current french mix tunisian boyfriend is as hot and as charming and hilarious. I guess I fell into the love and magic of magnifique france ;) -darethy,19

asti said...

Hi Darethy!

Thanks for sharing. I really appreciate it :) Good luck with your love life.

zaharat suleyman said...

Hi Asti... I need your help before my time runs out ;( ... I am an African girl and met this wonderful German guy at a club a month and a half ago... I was dancing with my sister on the dance floor and we really look a like, so this German guy got attracted to me and was finding a way to approach he asked his friend to assist him explaining in my language 'swahili' asking me if my sis and i were twins.. So he came up to me, in his broken swahili asking me the question ..i hardly could make out the words and so i just told him to speak English which im good at and it was a big relief we spoke a lot and danced the whole night plus we even kissed... When it was almost time to leave he started asking me to go home with him but i wasn't into that at all so he asked for my cell number which i gave him..but unfortunately my friends left me and he was the only one i had by my side so i had to go with him.. Yes, we had sex that day.. I felt kinda bad about that and told him he shouldn't think im into the one night thing but he told me if i wanted it to be a one night thing then it can be though he would want to see me again and that he meant every word he had told me before..that he likes me..
2nd day after three days of us communicating sweet messages and all we went out on a date, our first real date... It was lovely ..we talked about a lot of stuff and importantly got to know one another more.. He also showed me where he stayed. We had a lovely walk and watched the sunset and planned to meet again plus totally we were into each other. End of the day got me a cab home.
3rd time we met after 3 days again and this time he had planned for a romantic time for both of us..since we both love romantic stuff, anyway he had taken a room in a hotel.. Decorated the bed with flower petals.. In a shape of a heart and had candles all around the room.. It was amazing ..the end of that day he asked me if i can be his girlfriend.. I said yes. I was so happy that day... I went back home knowing in my heart im really starting to fall for this German hunk.
Since then we have been a happy couple..we meet almost everyday ..we always communicate.. He calls me all day... We both love to cook.. I invited him home for lunch he loves my food .. Everything that has happened between us is always spontaneous ...from the day we met till today.. Its like fate wants us to be together.. Im confused.. Because in the end of the day he has to go back to German on august..
He has told me he loves me..and i love him too.. He has introduced me to his German friends, he has showed me his family's photos and i know everyone around him here.. We are both getting 23 this year.. He has to go to university so that's the main reason his leaving .. We both get very sad when the topic of us being apart comes up and we always blush it off... He has given me a present of a chain with a heart and he tells me i have his heart.. He is the most wonderful man i have ever known.. We get a long so much that people around us realize how happy and in love we are.. I just don't know what to do, because im sure long distance won't work or something.. His now away in another city climbing the mountain Meru for now with his friends whom before they left, him and i cooked dinner for and they will be back next week.. He always calls me and text me and telling me he loves and miss me always ...wishing to come back soon and all the sweetest stuff u can think of.. I trust him and i believe he is sincere..
Please just advice me what should i do about him leaving soon.. Should i just end it before he leaves so as to save us more pain? Because im scared after his gone i might never see him again or we will just grow apart like most long distance relationships.. Please help.. I have few weeks left with the love of my life whom about to loose

asti said...

Hi Zaharat!
Thanks for dropping by. Well what's wrong with long-distance relationship? I know some German guys do it. Why don't you ask your boyfriend? You can have long-distance for awhile and see opportunities to make you both in same city again.
Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Forget Him. He obviously wants you around because he can fuck you anytime he wants!

Anonymous said...

Hi! I am a high school girl. And i need help! Can i share my story?
Last year i was on this website, that you can talk to random strangers. I came across to this guy from Germany (he is a high school student too),i kept contact with him over a texting app. we talked everyday and added each other on facebook. there was a little flirting and complementing each other but we would talk casual to each other after that. as we talk everyday, we became more comfortable with each other and close..i guess (that's what my best friend noticed and she reads my messages ). we added each other on skype last month,i was suppose to skype him but i didn't cause i am shy and nervous to talk to him on webcam. i noticed that i am starting to like him...i get butterflies when i talk to him,i smile like an idiot when he talks to me, and i get jealous when he talks to other girls (he use to tell me if he is talking to other girls). lately this summer we don't talk everyday, he usually starts the conversation and i think i am boring to talk to but he said "i like to talk to you". which made me smile! he asked for my number last week so he can text me but he hasn't texted me yet (on a different texting app). he sometimes tells me to visit Germany one day where he lives or move to Germany.
i am very confused if he likes me or he is playing with my feeling. i haven't asked him cause i don't want us to become awkward and stop talking to each other. i think we are becoming close.
I live in the USA and he lives in Germany.
can someone help me?i'm confused with my feeling towards him and i'm not sure what he thinks of me.
sorry for my bad grammar :P

asti said...

Hi high school girl... Oh well what are the chance... You both live far away and still young. I think you should enjoy the moment. Just enjoy that you have someone to flirt on but don't hope too much that your relationship could go far. If it goes far, good for you. If not, it's just normal... Hope you have fun!

Anonymous said...

It felt so good to read all your stories!

so almost 2 months ago i went with my best friends on holiday to the seaside. There we met a group of 8 german guys..Should i say how hoot they were and well-build? They imediatelly caught our attention. Then one in particullary caught my eyes! He was EXACTLY my type of guy!!obviously, they were drinking every night at our hotel. Finally..after a whole day making eye contact..some of them came up to us, including the guy i was liking. In fact, he talked to us first! i was sooo excited! Normaly, i am a pretty shy girl but then i decided that a have to be brave and talk to him before it was too late. Because all of them were talking to us about general questions, and because they don`t know english very well our conversation ended in 15 minutes. Also one of them told us that they have to drink quite a lot to have the courage to talk to us. I tought that was sweet.I was very very surpised to hear that such good looking guys cand be the same age as me(18). I never met such hot guys in my life! And they were polite too. No touching, no inapropiate questions..i was really impressed. As days passed, they asked us 2 if we want to go to a club, but we tought that it could be we didn`t go.
Finally, in our last night they came up to us and asked again if we would like to go to a club togheter, but we passed. I was thinking a looot about this guy and really starting to feel something for him. I know this may sounf lame but i never felt something like that for a guy in my life! So i decided to ask him for a FB because i didn`t want to regret it later!So i asked him and he smiled and gave us his facebook. One of them even helped us finding the others too! I was SOOO exited! It was the best day!
When i returned home i felt so lost..i didn`t know what to do! I didn`t know why but i fall in love with him. I was thinking about him all day. I was very disspointed because all of his friends accepted my friend request, exept for him!!I can`t understand that! He was the one who gave us his facebook! So i added him once more..NOTHING!
After a month i decided it was the time for me to do i wrote something to him in german!(this way i am sure he understands me) but he didn`t replied yet..
I tought it would be fun to share my experience with you..and in this way i leart that a german guy is: hot as hell, polite, shy and it`s not very good in approaching a girl..but was an unforgetable experience!

Bunny3523 said...

hey, there! :)
just came across your blog and guess what? I really liked it!
I've met a lot of German guys too and I've observed the same thing too

asti said...

Thank you for sharing! So now many girls out there can learn something :p

Anonymous said...

I am a Mexican 18 year old girl in California and in July I met this 21 year old German online who started to talk to me in this online website. Both of us have been keeping in touch in this messaging app where he texts me in the morning a good morning and we keep talking until he has to go to sleep and when he has to, he wishes me a good day. At night, around 9 pm he texts me saying good evening and we talk for one hour because. At that time he's traveling to his job.
In the app, he sends me pictures of where he is or where he goes or what he eats. I also send him pictures of places I go.
One time he texted me drunk saying he was drinking margaritas because it reminded him of me (in the text he said cute girl from california). Then he told me to warn him if he went too far in saying something because he said he either hates or likes everyone but me he loved so he told me that he warned me.
Everytime we text, he sends smileys and long messages of just stuff. One time he had a bbq and he was with friends having a great time and I told him that I'd text hin tomorrow since he seemed busy. He kept insisting that it was okay and to still text him.
What annoys me is it's happened a couple times where he leaves me hanging because he falls asleep or something. When he texts me he says that he's sorry and if I can forgive him and I always do. Since you know, we're talking and I'm not his girlfriend so I'm not going to control his life. In August, his birthday came up and he was saying how he would really want me to go celebrate his birthday with him but obviously I can't. So I told him to just have fun for the both of us.
When he's with friends, he says that he is texting a nice girl from california. I don't know what his feelings are towards me since he told me that I'm his best friend from california. And he always calls me awsome girl. But I don't think much about that.
We talk about a lot of stuff but he has told me some personal stuff. He also showed me a picture of a scar he has on his face. Plus one time he told me that yeah he wore glasses as if I would judge him on that.
I'm also in community college right now while he dropped out of high school when he was 16. He asked what I was planning to study and where I was going to go. He suggested a good english speaking university in frankfurt (where he lives). I am planning to go visit when I'm 21with some friends and he is going to be my guide.
I guess at one point he kind of thought I asked what he thought of me and he said that he felt he could tell me anything because he can trust me and that I'm loyal.
Now that school started it's more difficult to talk as much and I told him some of the rules and enviroment I have in school. His response was the school sucked and that it's not fair that the school is keeping me away from him.
I'm more of making people generally laugh and he has told me several times that I always bring him to laugh. He's seen pictures of me on my profile picture and says that I have an amazing smile and how beautiful I look with and without makeup. He told me that nature did all the work in first place. So I assume he's saying that I am naturally beautiful. Another thing is that he's not good with English so he says sorry when he doesn't say something right. And since he's expecting me to go, he tells me that he's practicing English so he can talk better.
I'm not sure where it's at right now. I think we are still friends but I'm just wondering if there's more to it. I am honestly having feelings for him but because I'm still young and because of distance, I have been supressing my feelings. Please I'd like some feedback to know what you think and what I should do.

Anonymous said...

Hello everyone,
I am so impressed with your experiences. I am an African lady, and this summer I met this German guy and I liked him a lot. He was friendly but sometimes you couldn't get him (he would be so detached/cold) like he has never talked to you before!
I enjoyed the moments and I don't hold high hopes that I will meet him again, I still hope I will.

Anonymous said...

wow iv really leant alot, thanx

asti said...

Hi 18 yrs old Mexican girl!

Sorry for the late reply. I hope it still helps. I think your decision in keeping it cool because you're still young and you both live apart, is right. Don't have too much expectation in this condition unless you both live in a same city. I think you are mature enough, I am sure you know what to do.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Hey! I am an american and I met this german around February in school. We instantly clicked and were always together. We would flirt all the time but no one ever made a move. When people would ask if we were together or not I would say we were just friends (stupid i know) which is why I think he ended up asking out this other girl.
They were together but we were still really close and flirted a lot. Since he was an exchange student he was only here for one year and he moved back to Germany. Him and the other girl ended their relationship and we still talk almost everyday. But he never messages me first or anything. He always seems into the conversation and we still flirt but no one is making a move. He even sent me a care package to me this year while I was at school. I don't know what I should do... I have a feeling he likes me but we are really good friends so if i make the move and he doesn't actually like me then everything will be awkward and I don't want that... I get that Germans are shy but i don't know what to do.

Anonymous said...

I was googling about German guys and found this.I’d like to share my story and need your help.

I’m an Asian and this German guy was studying in my country.I met him for 3-4 times in my friend’s home party since 4 months ago.

Last month at the same home party I figured out he had a motor bike so I asked him if he could take me for a ride because I had a motorbike before too and I really love bikes.He set a lunch and riding hangout and we spent 5-6 hours together.After that he started messaging me a lot everyday.We talked about everything,different cultures,sports,families….He also described what kind of girls he liked and that exactly sounded like me.Then I wrote back:Thanks for liking me.He said ‘You get me’.He told me to drink more water when I had a headache.He remembered everything I said.

But one week after our first ride I needed to go travelling in another country.(We bought the tickets 3 months ago.)The day before my flight I told him I would be happy if he could come over to have breakfast with me.It was 1:30 and my flight was 8:00,which means if he would he needed to wake up at 5:00 in the morning.But he came.

When I heard his best buddie was working in the city where we were going to, I told him it would be a blast if we can hang out with his best buddie.The he called his buddie right away and arranged it.His best buddie took many pictures of me and sent them to him when were having dinner.Even while I was travelling in another country I still got his message almost everyday.I asked him if he was always so nice to everybody.He said he was nice when he interacted with people and he only interacted with people he liked. I also gave him enough hints like when he called me smarty I called him goodlooking back.When he said he liked housework I said I liked house man.

But one week after I came back he suddenly stopped messaging me first.Then oneday I messaged him and asked if he could give me a ride because I thought it was the best way to see him naturally.He read it but didn’t write back right away.2 hours later I gave up and messaged him I would go home by myself.He just wrote me back:Good night.

I’m so confused but I don’t think I did anything wrong.But he just sounded so cold lately so I guess he was just trying to be nice and I ruined our friendship?I like him but I also want to be his friend even he doesn’t like me that way.What is he thinking about?Help please.

Anonymous said...

Hi there, filipina girl here...
Just came across this page by accident and so far, I've been amused with the posts here because it seems that almost all of these fraulein(s) have the same problems which indeed gave me the conclusion that german men are good at confusing people of the opposite sex.

I don't have german guy problems as I never met one but I did chat with some in the past. I can only count the number of german men I chatted with one hand and what I noticed is that they, two of them at least, find it strange that I was too nice or polite to them. Because the two of them, coincidentally, though happened at a different time, told me something while chatting which I find weird. But I just don't know what to say because I don't want to offend them so I decided to stick to my oh so courteous manner. In filipino culture, we were taught to be nice and polite to people we meet and not used to being direct to avoid hurting one's feelings. Then I read in an article about the german directness so I guess that explains it. They probably felt that I was not at ease with what they said and thought that I was not being sincere. They are used to being honest no matter how hurtful it might be to someone. So I guess, never forget to be honest with a german man. Lol!

I'll be going since my post isn't on the same fashion with the other posters but it was really nice to drop by.

Anonymous said...

Is this true? I love german men but am so often too intimidated to speak

Anonymous said...

He's going to see if he likes you or the latin girl best and then drop the losing girl like a hot potato! But he will only do this if you allow him to. But if you still really want him then i would play him at his own game say ' thats ok sweetie i have a guy friend whom i'v recently been speaking with also, so no pressure, i really like you but lets just see how things go' then the ball is in his court. Also if you do not have a guy friend really then i would find one whilst your waiting . Otherwise the loneliness and lack of affection / boredom will trick you into thinking this man is the only man for you. And try not to confuse lust with love. Its difficult to distinguish the two but it will save you alot of heartache and time if you can recognise the difference. Hope everything works out for you in life! X

Anonymous said...

I am from taiwan and currently study in Australia. I met a german at uni. We are both PhD students, Anyway,I told him that i will be in Europe ask his opinion.He was very nice and laugh a lot. helped him pick up x'mas gifts for his family coz he was going back for christmas. We had dinner he went back to germany Dece. 2013. I followed him home after that.we slept a little.&talked, hugged, and kissed. we had breakfast together in his place.During his time in Europe we keep in touch.
He came back OZ We had dinner again.I did followed him again. we both missed each other, he hugged me so tight once I was in his bed..we kissed a lot and started to touch each other.. but nothing happened during the night, he said something to me like "you are a good kisser", "I like you ass", "you look very sexy in this position".. I only smiled back.. next day we had breakfast again.. Then on the 22nd, I told him that I want to give him something and ask when will he be at home, he said maybe 10pmish.. but he said that I can call him..I called him at 10pm when I arrived his place, he didn't pick up and I messaged as reply.. I was thinking "you told me to call you..but you didn't even want to answer your phone" I decide to walk up to his front door.. door was open and he was just finishing watching football game.. I stood in the fro door said "hi, you didn't pick up the phone so I had to come up"..He said sorry coz he left his phone charging in his I passed him the gift and we talked a bit in the living room..then it was later so he asked if I want to stay and I ask if he want me to stay and he said yes..of course I stayed again.. same thing, kissed hugged touched ...cloth off ..then he stopped in the middd and said ""okay, we need to get some sleep. what the ?!! so we did slept.. next day, breakfast and kissed goodbye, he said he will miss me and we will keep in touch.
Okay...the whole thing goes a bit odd... in the begging of my trip to Europe , we whatapp a bit..because the time zone between Paris (my time) and OZ (his time) is 9 hrs. then all the sudden, I didn't get his reply for about 2 weeks.. so I started to look his Facebook (we are not friend in FB).. I found out that he aid few girls in his FB.. and I found out that he put a photo in his what app user ..and the photo is very similar to one of his new-FB-add girl.. I feel something is very very wrong... as a girl, we can tell.. the 6th sense.. so I wait for another week and sent him a email. ash how is him and does he still want to keep in touch. He replied in 3 hrs time, said he is very sorry that he forgot because his work and his coaching on football.. and we still can keep in touch ,but don't expect message everyday... Half of me is happy because he replied, but half of me don't buy the whole story. and he suggested that what app still the best way to keep in touch. I didn't know what to said so I replied his email after 3 weeks later..Tell him that I had good time in Europe and he can add my Europe number if he want. then no reply from him. Yesterday, one of my friends back in OZ told me that he has got himself a girlfriend and it happened in January ... I was upset, shock!! sad of douse, because I thought there is something between us... but ... If he got himself a girlfriend around January, and l left the country at the end of Jan.. that explained something why he didn't reply msg and email..but why he was still messaging me in the beginning of Feb.. I am very upset and I am going back to OZ next week...I just don't know what to do with the whole situation.. how can I face him.. will he still say hi to me when we see each other at uni ?? please someone tell me he interested in me or I have been played by him in the beginning ??

asti said...

Hi Taiwan girl!

He definitely doesn't deserved u. He just take advantage on u. So don't waste your time too much for him.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Hello beautiful readers. I have experience with the German guy. Apparently I know that he is not the perfect one for me. He's just completely lies and dishonesty. But not every German guy is like him. He's just another typical guy. We had a terrific moment together. We just realized that we are not match but what I really disappointed about him is that he's not honest from the first time we met that he's actually already has a girlfriend. He is a totally player and he is not ready for a total serious commitment. I remember he is sweet, calm, polite and he sometimes giving an option for what we are going to do together. For appearance, he is so handsome, he has a dark blonde hair and blue eyes and a light white skin, 6 pack stomach and he is not very tall (173 cm), but when he smile, you can see that he could hypnotize all of the people surround him. but when we go outside, he complains about the bills who is always very expensive. in my opinion that is a an average price and we usually eat at that price. for me is not a problem but for him it always makes a problem when we pay bills. anyways the story continues after he arrived in Germany. He informed that he already arrived in Germany. As a day has passed he only text me for probably once in two days. I managed to ask him if you already have a girlfriend. and finally he admitted that he already has a girlfriend while he had a vacation in Philippines. he was not being straightforward with me from the first time. and he thought that he still can contact with me while he is still being with his girlfriend. and I said I really really sorry I cannot fulfill your request. that is not a nice thing to do and after that I remove and block him as well he is not a a good person to be.
and at the moment I am having a relationship basically with a guy from Germany. He is a really Deutscher also like the first one. I knew him for 7 months already. He is a better person. Appearance is not essential but manner is what we look upon too. We are still together and mantain a good partnership. Also I have to underline he can accept my condition that I can't do sex before marriage. So eventually he respect me the most. So for girls outthere, if you really want to find a guy who really loves you the most, please try to avoid sex before marriage. Not all of the German guys loves sex. Also just be yourself. German guy really accept us just the way we are. There was a moment I wear a hijab, he said that if that's makes you confocomfortable, well you can wear hijab. So they always give us an option. So good luck on finding your truly mates. Don't be amazed or to focused on their appearance, because it will fade away after you found their negative side. The most important is, German guy really respect their woman and they treat their woman same as like their mother. You will feel like you are the most lucky person in the world. German guy are really straight to the point and meant what they said. They can also makes jokes but not all the time. Good luck on finding your soul mates. X

Lucas said...

Hi there i am german guy (24) and i red some of your reports so i just thought about giving some general advice.
Some of you clearly pointed out that a lot of germans aren't straight forward and avoid direct flirting. For the most of us its totally right. The whole dating thing seems to be very complicated at the first look but let me tell you: If germans want the attention of girls they just risk a look and lose the focus for a while and do it again. If they receive visual answer (The women look back) they feel like the woman is also interested.
Even if you think that german men arent straight forward if we want to meet a cute girl we are also the sex which take the initiativ and dont wait for the woman to approach. Thats it.
Just try this "looking-game" at a club, party or where else.

Have fun, girls.

Ps: Sorry for my bad english.

Anonymous said...

Thomas - guy from Germany (28 y.), student

German guys don't flirt directly. Especially the ones that have non migratory background tend to be very shy instead. German guys are polite and respect girls a lot. They don't dare to cross personal borders of women!!! Restraint and fear of crossing borders is an outstanding characteristic of German men in general.

There is one scenario described in many posts above which is quite characteristic about German guys: one day, they kiss you, maybe even get intimate with you, the next day, they still spend time with you, but they build up distance. It feels, as if they are suddenly so distant. There were some girls' comments puzzling about this phenomenon.

This is the reason in the very most cases (especially in case he expressed doubts about himself in the first place.)

They try to act cool and tough, but inside they are unsure if they have gone too far by kissing you, by having raised a claim on you. They are unsure whether they have pleased you enough. They act as if they weren't interested in your contact details, at which they are. German men are totally shy. The negative cliché and gender in the German society and the world make them feel inferior (stereotypes like: not funny, only serious, pale, weak, unmanly, boring, cannot dance). German men don't have a strong backing in the German society, whereas the emancipated German women do. This over and above unsettles them and explains the inferior or unstable role they might show in interaction.

So, to do away with that inferior role - reassure him, that he IS a hot guy and/or that you like him. He will soon win confidence and be a faithful and caring boyfriend or man - in many cases. For some definitely counts: Treating women and children well, and being deep in conversations (general knowledge and versatile affinities is a common feature to make use of).

You can test him and find out about his feelings the following was: If you are in love with that German guy or really want to stay in contact: express that in words - be honest and convince him!!! Explain your wish for contact and TELL HIM IN CASE YOU HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH HIM OR TELL HIM CONVINCINGLY WHY YOU LIKE HIM. If he likes you or loves you too - his self-confidence will grow and your relationship is ready to begin. Show him your appreciation. Stick to what you said.

If you tell him what you feel, the worst thing that could happen is that he tells you that he is not. If so, he will probably do it in a polite way. You won't lose anything.

If he even hesitates, that means he is unsure about his feelings or loves you strongly. So give him the chance and maybe some time to leave his role. If he still spends time with you after you told him you like him and he did not refuse or showed unsure. = That means he likes you or even loves you as well!!! GERMAN GUYS ARE NOT USED TO SAYING "I LIKE OR LOVE YOU". If they say it, they really mean it.

Believe it and just follow the advice - BECAUSE I AM A GERMAN GUY THAT ACTS EXACTLY THE WAY DESCRIBED IN perplexed comments ABOVE, I know well about what I am saying and the problems that raises. How many romances and relationships unrealized because of such misunderstandings between German men and women like you (and even German girls). SO THIS TEXT EXPLAINS THE REASONS BEHIND THAT "ODD GERMAN GUY BEHAVIOUR".

Just remember: Reassure him of your affection. Spend time together and soon he will open himself for you and you are going to have some wonderful time.

I hope, I can save some sweet romances by this.

asti said...

Thank you Thomas! Am sure all the girls will gain benefit from your writing. Thank you for sharing :)

Anonymous said...

Thomas, you are a life-saver... i am currently dating a German guy living in Germany and if it weren't for the fact that I made it rather clear that i was interested in him, I doubt he would ever make a move.

German guys, especially those who did not live overseas, tend to be so shy and unassertive when it comes to relationships. My guy was single for 4 years before meeting me, and I think he's a cute, kind and sweet guy who would be snatched up immediately in some other countries.

I encourage all the girls out there to make the first move on their German guy. If you are cheerful and enthusiastic about it, he will find it impossible to resist you. true story.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Thomas, you post explained everything. My German "boyfriend" acts exactly the ways you described. Now I know why.

Anonymous said...

Here is the situation: I am Brazilian and in one night I kissed a sweet and hot german guy in SP where I live. Then he was moving to Rio to watch the world cup in there and he was not going back so SP anymore. We were chatting on facebook (I am always the one to say hello first) and he invited me to meet him there and spend that time with him and his friends, so I went after he really tried to convince me. When I got there we spent 3 nights sleeping together and having sex every night and he was always kind and sweet with me the hall night long, but during the day he was cold and treated me as a normal friend. The last day we did not kiss each other as usual but when he toked me and my bags to the taxi he kissed me and I got all confused and said confused words, than we kissed again and he said he would text me. The next day he was online but did not text me so I text him and we got into a conversation that ended up just like that:

He: anyway, i am glad you came to rio. i really enjoyed spending time with you. believe it or not

Me: own how sweet of you! I loved to spend that time in Rio...I mean lots of fun and nice people...if you did not give me courage to do that I would never had that experience in life...

He: as i said. i am pretty sure i am coming back in november

Me: that would be awesome!

And after that no more talking. What should I think? Should I always be the one who text him first? Or should I wait him text me now, knowing that he will not.

asti said...

Hi Brazilian Girl!

It's so clear that he knows you like him. So I think your efforts are enough. It's time for them to show how they feel.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

I'm also in a confused state.I'm Phd student here in Germany and my race is Asian.Here at work I have found a very interesting , handsome guy and for the matter of fact, he is one of my Phd advisor. He.He too is young around 33 probably.probably. Initially when we used to meet he used to show interest in me like asking about my details, background, taking a bit more interest in my work.But I was so dedicated in my work that, I was acting cold, even though I found him attractive.
Then after that he started being the usual German-Cold guy.Now I want him. Plus ,I really don't know his relationship status.
How do I know that?, I just dont want single night or friends at bed type relationship.(Typical South Asian).
He has gone on leave for 2 weeks now, and I miss him like anything.I just wrote a mail to him regarding some of our technical works and at the end I wrote him ..Miss you like that.But he has not replied.
Please advise what to do? As of now our relationship is all official related and How do I confirm whether he is single or not ?
Confused Cupid Struck.

Anonymous said...

Hi Asti and all, Read all the comment and I want to share mine. Sorry for my bad English but hope you all can understand.

I'm in relationship with my German guy, he amazingly interesting guy and nice with me. And he never lie as far as I know but I have a problem with his previous relationship.

He had so many girlfriend before maybe almost in every country in this world he had one but all before he having relationship with me (but he always had one and when the relationship broken he will have the new one again and it went like that) And almost the gfs who leaved him for some reason because he doesn't want married, only for the one gf that he cut the relationship because at the 1st he just want to help the girl and the girl bring him to sex relation and made him to be his bf (the girl who make me very hurt until now)

He always tell to me all the story if I asked and he explain clearly that he never ever will cheating the girlfriend. But the problem is sometime make me jealous when I know he still have connecting with all his ex gf and the sad one he still has a intents contact with one his ex gf, because he already promise to take care the ex because he the one who cut the love relationship with her. (As the paragraph above)

And it hurt to know how he defend and furious if every time I try to stop / at least reduce that connection to her. He said that nothing guilty from his side that he did to take care and help that lady because it all his promise before he met and be my bf, so he will keep the promise to her and also he will keep the promise to me that he will never cheat me with his ex or with another girl.

He explain me the ex already have bf for now but still not serious one so he said when the new bf already able to take all the ex need or at least already live in the same home at the time he will leave and it's not mean he breaking his promise. And I said so leave her how come the new bf can serious if you always around and help her. But as I told you he always think that what he did it's not wrong attitude, he not sleeping with her, he giving the border that he only friend who keep the promise to help :(

If do you think any man can do like that, not cheating with the girl friend even he sometime come there and stay in the same house even not in the same bedroom?

I trying hard to believe with my bf but when I read some text from the ex I'm very sure that the ex still trying to get back heart of my bf and seem the reply of my bf also not expressly said no to her. But as I know my bf already told to her that now he has me as a girlfriend

What should I do? Please help me maybe some of you have same case with me

asti said...

Hi Asian-PhD-student and the girl-in-a-relationship-with-German guy,

Thanks for sharing your stories.

For Asian girl, you just started your early crush. You have to know his status before continue your move. Maybe when he gets back you can ask about his holiday e.g. where did u go? i would also like to go there, can u give me some advice on what to do there? when is the best time to go there? etc. This way, u may have a chance to uncover his life little by little.

For girl in a relationship, I agree with u. What he's done is too much. But it's better not to confront him too often because that will attack his sense of integrity or pride. Am not sure what u'd better do. But maybe try to distract his attention from his ex. Plan something together a lot so he can't have time for other people.

For both of u, good luck!

Asian American girl said...

Hi! This is a great post and I also wanted to share and seek some advice with my situation. I see many experiences in the comments but none of them seem to discuss exactly how Germans do the flirting. So as a background of my situation:

I am an Asian girl working in America. In terms of dating, I don't think I'm that Americanized, meaning no multiple dating, no flirting heavily and openly to guys that kinda thing -until I met this German dude LOL. He is so tall, hot and cultured and just feels so different from the regular Americans here. He's a consultant for my firm and recently moved to the US from China where he stayed for 5 years (so he's an "internationalized" German and could be different from the local ones most people dealt with here). I have absolutely no work relationship with him and my workplace is conservative and people generally only talk to those they need to work with. Anyway, one day he passed by my desk and started chatting with me, and after a few times, he asked me out for lunch. We had a few lunches now and he has been quite flirty throughout - a lot of eye contacts, smiles, touching me playfully, lightly pressed our legs under the table while having lunch, and he seems very interested in knowing about me, etc. The other day he chatted with me, he seductively (or so I think) licked his lip slowly and smiled at me. At the same time, I sensed he is getting a bit nervous when talking to me. Frankly, if he was an American, I would not have one doubt that he wants me. But for a German, do they flirt the same? (sounded like they dont)I just can't tell if these "flirts" mean the same for Germans.

To the confusing part, he has not asked me to hang out outside of work yet. I'm thinking about asking him to dinner/drinks after work. But I dont want to ask unless I'm confident he's indeed flirting/interested in me (afraid to be rejected) so just wanted to see what you guys think, should I go forward but should I just wait for him to do it?

One more question is, he never told me about his relationship status and he gives me the impression that he's single. But with his age (early 40s) and just how cute he is, I'm surprised he's not committed. In Germany, do people wear wedding bands? This would be the one indication to look for with Americans, but people in Germany?

asti said...

Hi Asian American!

Well I guess, like u said, he's "internationalized". So the way he dates relate to the country where he is now. If he haven't ask u for a date, then give it time for 2 weeks. If nothing happens, maybe u can ask him just for a drink or ice cream as a start. That's all that I can say, am not an expert in this as well.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

He would always ask if I slept well in the morning it was just something that I wasn't used to being treated more pleasantly than in the us( not that I don't love American guy) Hi I wanted to share my story also I recently got back from a three week long exchange in Germany and it was fantastic! I found the guys to be perfect gentlemen specifically this one guy. I met him on a trip to a farm in Belgium and I (going to an all girls school) was finally making contact with a guy haha . It sounds funny but those were my thoughts! He shook my hand and introduced himself which as a junior in high school most guys that come up to me don't do. I expected him to just say hi and then walk away but he would come up to me and talk about all things from music to if I was a cheerleader like on American TV shows. For the first three days he sat next to me at every meal, but me being awkward and shy wouldn't say much unless he asked me a question. And every morning he would ask how I slept which for some reason made me feel really good. Plus it was freezing there and I had 4 jackets and a winter coat in at all times (not the most flattering look by the way). We would continue to talk and no matter who else was in our group he would make eye contact with me. On the 4th day he had to leave and I felt just really sad because besides my host sister he was the only friend I made on this short trip. While I was cleaning my dishes I was alone in the kitchen and he came to say goodbye he said it was so nice to meet me and it was cute he like put his hand on his heart and went in to give me a hug but for some odd reason my mind couldn't understand the whole hug thing so I stuck out my hand to shake his hand!!!( when I think about it I feel like I'm dying of embarrassment I don't even know how that happened) the whole next day I thought about it and vowed to myself that if I saw him again before the three weeks were up that I had to fix that. ---two weeks later(last two days of my trip): we were going to this festival and he was walking in it you like walk through the town(boy and girl walk together) and everyone waves at each other. Apparently it used to be a wedding tradition. Anyways he was coming through with the girl on his arm and my host family and I waved at him and he yelled my name and it made me feel really good. Then there was this party thing after and he came up to me and we did this awkward handshake hug thing (he was confused Hahahah ) so we talked for a bit and he winked and smiled at me. Then my American friend who was with me said she was cold and I agreed with her and he asked me if I wanted his jacket and I literally felt like I was in a movie and none of this could be real. He also would ask me to say my name because he thought it was funny how I said it and he then recorded it. When we went where the music and dance was he asked me if we all waltz in America which I think he was kidding about but he went to get me a beer and not having drank a full glass of beer before especially the german kind I didn't particularly enjoy it so he put his hand on my arm and asked if he could get me champagne instead. Later when my friend and I were going to leave he said goodbye to my friend but to me he said see you tomorrow (aka my last day in Germany) I couldn't sleep that night out of excitement and the parade thing happened and he called out my name again and we went to see him at the tent but before I could say anything to him we had to go home and that meant I wouldn't get to say goodbye to him which surprisingly stung a lot . We are friends on Facebook and he messaged me and asked how I was and that my picture was very nice. I just want to no am I trying to create something out of nothing was he just trying to be nice ? Thanks so much for your blog❤️

Anonymous said...

Thank you Thomas. Now i know how to handle and behave with my current German suitor :)

Thanks to all for sharing their stories.

I'm blessed i found this blog.

Thanks Asti!


P said...

Congratulations, Asti, for keeping this blogpost and comments going for 5? 6? years!!

Interesting comments, I read through them all...

I was never especially into German guys but I started chatting to one via the dating app Tinder.

I was travelling in Germany, however, we didn't match until I had left so now we live a fair distance away (but still in Europe).

The first 6 days or so we were chatting online and texting like crazy and then I sensed he was getting a bit distant.. I immediately thought he was chatting up other girls...

He was still in contact with me but less than before...

I couldn't stop thinking about it and so finally, today, I told him how I was feeling. I said that I really liked him and thought he felt the same way (since he told me that right at the beginning) but wanted to know if if something had changed.. and if it's because I live in a different country so he doesn't want to go down that route.

He admitted that that has dampened things but to me it's not really an obstacle. We are only a short flight away from each other.

We had our first ever Skype chat and I like him even more. He does seem a bit shy though (which is not how he seems online and through texts!!)

I'm wondering if I should do anything next or leave it up to him? I feel like I've probably already done enough by spilling out my feelings to him (to a guy I've never even met in real life!)

asti said...

Hi P!

Well you can try to meet him in real. It will make you sure and not just guessing. You can make your first move and see how he reacts. And based on his reaction, maybe you can find similar cases in this site.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

ok so here is my story and I need to know should I make any move.
I lived in Germany for several years and coming back to India was hard.
I am now working in a metropolitan city and there are lot of German expats in the city. I came in contact with one on a Facebook group, after chatting for a bit, I asked him to meet for coffee. He agreed, we met and I found him really charming. I though it will be a short catch up but we sat and chatted till the cafe closed down. He told me that it is really comfortable talking to me.
Later I realized we live on the same street. We have been hanging out on weekends and talk a lot, he even discusses his personal stuff even bitches about his work. Once coming back from a pub, I was kinda drunk and resting on his shoulder (while riding the cab) he held my hands and was talking to me ( I don't remember the conversation)and it was a really sweet moment. He said he is glad that he met me here and would like to go out to certain places.
He confessed to me that he is very introvert and like people taking initiatives, if things are left to him, he would probably not go out much.
I am kind of smitten by him, he is really sweet, smiles a lot, we stop and talk whenever we see each other on the street. After a night out he comes and drops me to my house and we stand outside and talk for long time. He gives me tight hugs before leaving
Sometimes I feel it is just because he could relate with me as I lived in Germany and speak German. I have been advised that I must take it slow before making any moves. I am not at all sure what would be his reaction, I am also scared to lose a friend as I don't know many people here.

asti said...

Hi Indian girl!

Thanks for sharing. I guess it's better that you enjoy the moment. He said that he is too shy to start, so don't give him too much shocks. Just take it slow.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

ah the moment is gone! We hooked up after a crazy night (though not too drunk that we didn't know what we were doing) but since then he has been stiff. I spoke to him and he said since he is here not for a long time, such strong emotions are inconvenient for him :(
that made me sad. I also said, c'mon lets forget and hang out like we use to but he said we would need some time off. I am not sure what went in to his mind :(

Anonymous said...

Hi All,
I feel much better after reading all the stories here and i feel better that it was not me but the German guys are not stable.

I met this guy at my work who came for a month to our organization from Germany. He sits little away and i cannot see him much and did not even care initially for a week who he was or what he does. It was the second week he took the initiative to come to my desk and ask what he needed which he could do in an email. He was too handsome to ignore and i enjoyed talking to him. He emailed asking if was free that weekend and if i can show him some places. I was not ready for any of that as i had other plans and my colleagues were already taking him to clubs and all on weekends.

He really started talking and emailing me and was back of me when i went to have coffee. For some reason i noticed this and was happy talking and seeing him at work everyday. He was not at all shy but open may be because he travels to US a lot on his work.
He said i was really beautiful and complimented on my dresses and used to walk from my desk to go outside even though he has a door very close to his own desk.
When ever he stands up i could see him and my heart starts beating fast. He said straight forward that he liked me and i am a big distraction at work :p

I was enjoying this for a week and finally i met him outside and he could not stop himself and he kissed me, the best kiss and the manly touch, it lasted for just 10 min overall and then i came back to my place. Thats it, he totally stopped emailing me or talking much to me at work. he never responded to my emails even though i could see him at work every minute.
I understood he played his game and i was glad nothing more happened with him but i felt very bad. i stopped going to the side he sits and it was a torture the next 2weeks before he left to Germany. He just came by once in a while and asked something and about me if i am doing good. This made me much angry.This totally spoiled my mood for the next 2 weeks and did not know what went wrong,
On the last day of work, he came by again and started talking normally and i did not care anymore. He was again complimenting my dress and looks and he was all over my desk and back of me where ever i was at work and he was allover me again. He came by and started conversations, i felt good
again and then was feeling bad that he leaves to germany the next day and he ignored me for the 2 weeks he was here,

Then he made a last call that night saying he really like me but since he cannot be with me he intentionally ignored me and all my emails for the past 2 weeks which did not make sense to me at all, he should not have kissed me in the first place, He will be in US again in January but in a different state, but some back here for couple of days.
I hope he does not come to my office again and i dont want to see him and feel bad again.

I dont know if he ever gets back to me or talk to me again.
I see his Fb profile and feel bad that he already had a GF back in Germany :(

I generally do not go out or encourage guys so easily and i am picky but i donno what happened with this guy i totally got disturbed and unhappy since weeks now.
I should have read this blog earlier so that i would have known about german guys little better and deal this situation differently. I feel sorry for myself. I did not meet a guy for 2 years after my last breakup and this guy made my situation much worse after trusting this guy after 2 long years.
I am pretty sure he never even talks to me anymore.
I am not a regular party type girl i am little reserved until i like a person. I was screwed up and just made my life miserable. Lesson learnt.
I wish not all german guys are like this but i see whole lot of stories here where German guys did not play well. Germans please stand up for yourselves if you like a girl. You may not know how deeply the other person is hurt with your behavior.

asti said...

Halo Anonymous!

Am sorry that u learned it the hard way, but thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

Hello! Ive met this german guy at university, and we were really into each other. 3 days after we met, we've spent the day together at a uni party, and kissed each other and had sex. After that I was sure he would never talk to me again (and i don't feel uncomfortable with casual sex at all), but then the opposite happened: he wanted to see me more.

We had lunch at uni together that week, at this time i really didn't want to grow his interest on me, and i was more into another guy. He also told me that he didn't want a relationship. But we went out together two weeks after we met, and it was wonderful. We started to talk more often and see each other once a week.
At one of our dates, he told me he feelt so good with me, and that he didn't know where it would take us but that he would let it run. He also started to say really cute things to me, hold hands everywhere, and our moments together are full of romance.

three weeks ago, i was drunk at a bar, and i kissed another guy. While i did that, I've realised that i really like him (the german guy) and, guess what: i sent him a message answering something he asked and said: I LIKE YOU, REALLY! GOOD NIGHT! He just sent a smile. The other day i was so embarrassed, but we keep talking normally!

Now, almost three months after, we are talking everyday by whatsapp. He sends me pictures of his day, he shares his life with me (and me too), and also "good morning" messages. He is interested on my family, my studies, my health, and everything. But we are almost not seeing each other! We talk as a couple, but we don't see each other as much as at the beginning. sometimes we spend 3 weeks without seeing each other. I am confused!

Does he like me, or im getting crazy?
We are going to have dinner next week. Should I ask him about his feelings or should I wait more?

Detail: we are both exchange students and supposed to come back to our home countries at the end of next year.


Anonymous said...

Wow! Can I say THANK YOU...I've been with a long distance 'contact' with this German guy for 8 months. But he visited my country twice and spent about 3 weeks in total together. He constantly texting me everyday while he's in Germany...but still I still have confusions about our relationship. Long story. I don't know maybe I'm so lazy to tell everything...but I'm happy with what we have right now! This year, 2015, I'm gonna be visiting him in Germany! I can sense that our story is gonna bea slow moving relationship (which I am not used to, I am a Filipina and in our culture men pursue women - at least maybe for me - and it's crystal clear what he wants from you)...I'm just thinking that the only key to our relationship is PATIENCE!! I asked him about his plans with hisself (in general) he's told me how he doesn't like to settle down soon and have children

Anonymous said...

Same here girl! Thumbs up! It all first started with ME initiating - contacted him first, told him how handsome he's first, how I liked him!

Mona said...

Hello everyone
Thank god i pumped into this blog so surprised of that amount of stories !! (It took me two hours to read them all ) lol anyway i wanted to help all the girls in here
Be ready its gonna be a long one so if you dont want to read it ALL its ok , you will miss the big advice !!

Im an Arab-Syrian women and I had a little story with a german guy
I used to work in Damascus airport when some arab guy came along and told me Hi im from Jordan can you please be mercy and talk to my German friend he cant stop staring at you and sent me to talk to you could you please agree he wants to talk to you !! I was surprised and said OK
So when we sit ( me , the arab guy , his german friend) he talked in german and his face was RED he was very very shy !
The poor arab guy in the between had to translate Lol anyway i told him its very nice to meet him but im a Muslim and i have to have serious relationship only !
That german guy got so excited about it and was like :ok it will be a big pleasure marrying her !! He said he will learn Arabic and will convert to Islam!! He will do whatever please just say yes !

The thing was my traditions, culture and my strict family didnt allow me to marry a (Foreign) guy ! I apologized told him the whole thing that i really cant !
Still remember his face when that arab guy translated what i said he was very sad ! And so devastated with tears in his eyes !!
I admit it could be a great love story but sometimes its just fate thing !!

And now after reading my story what do you think about german guys ? Yes shy yes polite BUT WHEN HE WANTS YOU , HE WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES !
So forget about the thing that : dose he like me ? Maybe he is shy ? Or maybe he was just drunk ?
Wether its german or asian even african

You have to know that you are a beautiful girl no matter what your race is ! ( Btw i have very black hair and thats what cought the eyes of that german guy ! )
So please ! To every girl in this world who has a trouble with a german guy , If he wants you for reall for 100% he will tell you no matter what he will get out of his (shell) do the effort to do it all

Good luck everyone and i hope you will remember my story whenever you meet any guy !

Anonymous said...

I'm an italian girl (too :p we re too many appearently to have crushs on german MAMMA MIA !! )
Well i met him in turkey last summer . We spent the whole stay exchanging looks and stuff .
I knew that he likes me but he never made the first step and i never dared to do it too (because i'm a shy person and i didnt know how to deal with a german . I'm used to mediteranian guys who are more filrty and less shy). When we found ourselves alone he hugs me or kisses me on the cheek and THATS IT !
Until my departure night when he got really drunk he told me that he likes me so muuuuch and that he founds me really attractive ! So of course we kissed hugged and so on ...
And when i went back to my country he left me a couple of msg on fb reminding me how much he likes me and he told me that i must visit him in germany or maybe he will come to see me and that he misses me
Anyway ... in few days he will celebrate his birthday and i want to send him a text msg that is cute sexy and showing that i still care about him (especially that i'm going to germany in march and i want to meet him again i told him that once on fb and he ignored me #confused )
i know this sounds silly buut i really need help ... i really dont know how to deal with german !
So what should i write him ?

Anonymous said...

Hi there. My name is bella from malaysia, 22 year old malay muslim girl. Working in state of penang as customer advocant give me space to greet european tourist mostly german guys. They look so shy and silent until i opened some topics such as travel, life in germany, football and some current issues. He happily. Shared with me and laughed when he listen to my jokes, even there's one case he invited me to bar and have a beer but i declined politely and he respected me. Although most of my effort to flirt german guys are unsuccessful, i think there are more chance for me to date them, just need to find the right german guy to be my boyfriend. Hope i get the right one before my next 23th birthday

Anonymous said...

Hi guys! I'm so glad I found this blog!

Sooo I met a german guy online... on Omegle where most people are horny hahaha. I was there just playing becausevI was bored. I lied about my age and where I live. I troll on there a lot but idk why when I talked to him I just ended up telling the truth...

We've been talking for weeks now(text and cam). And I'm amazed at how, even online, this person I met acts the same way as the others you girls have.

Here are a few encounters I've had with him that's just really confusing.

The first time we talked... He was funny. We talked about a lot of things--things I never thought I'd tell anyone. My mindset was Im never gonna talk to you again anyway so whatever! Before I went to bed that night I told him that I dont plan to talk to him again. But he was like why? We had a great night! I want to talk to you again! So I said, okay we'll see!
Next night, he messaged me and I couldnt help it so I replied. He was funny at first. But he slowly seemed uninterested and cold and I didnt know what to say anymore.

We talk everyday and then one night, he told me that he "gets tired as fuck" because he always stays up late just so we can talk.

But he wants to keep talking!

(Don't know if I should be happy he wants to keep talking or be offended by his being too honest.. a little sugarcoating wouldn't hurt)

We were talking about serious things and then suddenly blurts out 'i wish you live near me.' And then after this night... He doesn't contact me. We're both online. But I was shy, didnt want to say hi first.

We were literally talking about really stupid things, just joking and playing. He tells me he wants me confidently.

After a while he tells me he likes me but this time completely different from how he said 'i want you'. When he said he likes me he seemed vulnerable. And when I told him that I do too... he says he's not sure. After this, again, he's become like cold cuts left in the fridge for too long.

I've got a few more but it's all the same: sweet as candy one night and then cold as ice the next.

I read somewhere that germans are pretty honest about whether or not they like someone--they would either say it out loud or show it through their actions. So if you're unsure of how your german feels about you, it's most likely that he doesnt feel the same way as you do.

Lol in my case, he told me he likes me... but we're miles apart and I feel it's very easy to lie when you're not going to meet the person face to face. But I like knowing about other cultures and this has been definitely fun for me. Honestly I've been praying I get at least 2 more weeks with him lol. The way he acts sometimes makes me feel like it's always our last day of talking. At this point, I most probably won't be the happiest kid if my german friend and I stop talking but I had plenty of fun with him and if it ends, I'd just welcome my meeting him as great experience.

Anonymous said...

I met him trough Tinder. He was here for business so we only spent a few days together but we have a strong connection since the moment we met because we just let it flow. He promised to come back even without knowing what will happen (we live in different continents). At the moment we manage to text each other every single day.
Normal him is very respectful and polite. I love his honesty above all but it drives me crazy his coldness (although he's constant with our communication). True thing is that I'm crazy about him and we both agree it was special and more than we expected so.... Only time will tell what will happen.

asti said...

Thanks for sharing. I wish time will be in your favor.

Anonymous said...

I am egyptian and i met a perfect german guy, i love him but i dont know sometimes, keep asking me questions like why i loved him, maybe he is not the example of hot guy but to me he is perfect and hot and i love speaking to him never get bored, i met guys all over the world they all nice even they much hotter but there is something about him to me he is yhe hottest ever

Lina said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lina said...

Hi I'm Lina from Malaysia. German guy has a special charm to the girls across the globe eh? I've always heard good things about them. Like they are shy(which I think is cute), tall, handsome, highly intelligent, talented, hardworking, very gentleman, family oriented and so on. I mean, who wouldn't like guy who has all this good quality? Ok, my case are odd here, coz we never met. I secretly admire a German guy and I needed everyone opinion please. Here's my story: I'm an art student myself. Roughly 7-8 years ago I was browsing an art website seeking for some inspiration, I've attracted to a photographer's work. Later on i found out more about him like he is a German and he was also in his early 20's, he a photography student, and he is very handsome. i fell head over heels for him for quite some while but I don't know what to do to get to know him. No contact number, he didn't know me, and Facebook wasn't there. I'm so desperated... Time passes, He's always live in a corner of my heart, and I just can't swept his name off my mind. recently I found him on facebook and try to add him, he didn't add me :'( then I found that he is on Instagram, I've followed him and try to get his attention by leaving comments in his photography post on insta. He replied some of my comments and I felt so happy like we finally have some sort of communication going on, though it's just some simple comments on insta. He didn't follow me, I didn't tell him I like him ( afraid to scare him off) I'm already glad that I manage to see his recent updates. Is it ok to like and comment his every new post? Will he feel like being stalk? I know German don't really open up to newly met strangers. And what can I do to make him mine? Girls / guys please give me some advice. I just can't stop thinking about him now, and I felt so stupid for loving a person that I never met.

Anonymous said...

Exactly! What might he want .. !? The question on any girls face whom comes in contact with a German make. Hmmm! They are super great, however! Good luck.

asti said...

Hi Lina from Malaysia. I think it's ok to comment on his posts, but make sure that you do it in a classy and professional manners. I am sure he will respect it. Then, maybe, you have a reason to meet, at least as a fan. Good luck!

Shaman said...

Women everywhere should start making first move, approch guys and say bloody HI it won't kill You and don't wait for us to do something because well it's not 11th century anymore..

Hoping It works out Well said...

Here's my story

I met this german guy at a bar (an internet group meeting that he and i were in)When i walked in he was sitting at the table & when I introduced myself he was smiling very big and shared his name (he came 4rm germany that day).

Eventually it was just he and I at the table. It got loud, i could barely hear him so we leaned in closer to talk. We talked about drinks & he told me about one i should try and how we should get one sometime. The internet group moved to another bar. I found him in the 2nd bar and eventually asked him if he wanted my number. He said “of course”. The next day he texted me :) He asked if I had a facebook. We talked for 3 hours though text and on fb chat. He texted me later in the week and asked if I wanted to get a drink. I went and later that week we went to a house party.

Although we weren’t hanging out the whole night at the party by the end of the night (after he drank like 2 bottles of wine) he got more flirty; putting his arm around my waist, spooning me on the couch etc. That night i drove him back to his hotel. He leaned in and i wondered if he was gonna kiss me- he didnt. He rubbed my arm and asked what i was doing that week.

We hung out more. One day I invited him day drinking. This is when things started to go sour. Basically he committed but then blew me off- he said it was due to work but b4 he said he wouldn't go to work or could leave early :/ So the next day we hung out at another internet function. We really didnt talk to each other that much but by the end of the night we were together. I told him how he wasnt very aggressive and he said “im a nice guy”. So I leaned on him trying to let him know i am interested and at one point he leaned into kiss me but hesitated. Eventually he followed through. And it led to us going back to his place. We kind of had sex- he was a bit too drunk.

I ended up spending the night. In the morning it was nice. He cuddled with me in bed etc. it kinda felt like being a couple. When I was ready to go home, he walked me to my car and kissed me on the cheek good bye. I waited to hear from him but there was nothing. I ended up contacting him a week later. He responded and wanted to hang out again.

We hung out a few more times but by this point we were not texting or communicating that much. He even invited me to rock climbing. After we would climb we would go out with his rock climbing friends & drink. When the night was over he would walk me to my car. Things would get intimate. I would make it very apparent i am attracted to him leaning on him rubbing against him kissing his neck ect, and he would get turned on and reciprocate but eventually he would end it and say we should both go home. I mean this would happen late on a work night but i would easily be willing to take it further. He would say lets hang out but when it would come to the day to do the activity he would not really text or respond.

When we are together he puts his arm around me more in public & talks about wanting to do things but it doesnt happen. I’ve tried on my end to be more available and text him first. But sometimes I hear nothing back. I would like some alone time to talk to him about where he would things to go. I feel like i would not want to really date because there are too many red flags. I want to know if friendship is what he wants or if I should take a hint when he doesnt respond, or if he just moves slow or if i need to be more aggressive. Some people say if you dont want to date dont ask because you may scare him away but I would rather risk not being friends then to deal with the uncertainty of him not reaching out or hanging out. Its only been a couple of months but even for a friend this is not good communication. Since we have been hanging out, even when we arent touching ppl have asked if we are married, dating, and told that we make a cute couple.

I feel like i should move on i guess but it sux because I do like him but friendship is a two way street.

Hoping it works out well (it didn’t!) said...

3 weeks ago I saw the German. We rock climbed, went out afterwards as a group- he and I, and another rock climbing couple. He put his arm around me in front of them, which I felt like was us making progress we were moving forward with PDA. Afterwards, he walked me to my car and I asked him when I would see him again. He invited me camping with his friends for the upcoming weekend. We embraced one another until he said “I go home and you go home”. I was annoyed because I was enjoying our embrace. The week passed and I heard nothing about camping or how I should prepare. I figured it was going to be cancelled due to the rain. I texted him the day of, he responded 2 hours later and said he did not know what he was going to do for the day. I told him I was going to do a couple of things but could call later. I called and nothing, I couldn’t leave a VM. So I texted “hey”. Again nothing. The next day I texted “im free today”, and left it there and had no plans to reach out again until he wrote me.

I did not hear from him again until around my bday. He texted me “happy birthday”. I wrote back “thank you”. And that was it. He did not ask about me or anything. I wanted to write him and ask how he was but I was responding to how he was responding to me. Why reach out when someone is giving you the cold shoulder? Even before my bday I really wanted to see him because I knew he had a german friend coming in from out of town and I knew it would be hard to see him, so when I didn’t see him and then didn’t see him for my bday it was concerning. Later that week I invited him to a party/concert (electronic music- which he likes). He wrote me back saying he was out of town with his friend. That was the last I heard from him. So the next week I was ready to end the friendship. It was going nowhere and he was pulling away. I wanted to see him in person to talk about where he wanted the friendship to go but since the last time I saw him he made no effort to talk to me or see me.

I still had an interest in climbing and if I couldn’t go with him I found an internet group that went to the same gym we did. I did think about going to another but they were soooo far! At this point I wanted to delete/unfriend the German and move on. My only concern was what if I saw him at the gym but I had deleted him… So I held off. Well surprise surpise I run into him. He was there with one of his rock climbing friends, a female. He saw me and came over to talk to me while she went to the restroom. I could tell he was shocked to see me. He said he was sorry he missed my bday and told me about how he had his friend in from out of town for the past 2 weeks. He asked me how I celebrated and when he was talking I could tell he was nervous, he started shaking his leg and looking off into the distance and I wanted to ask ‘do you still want to be friends?’ but I didn’t. The woman who I had met before and even gave her my number and told her I could climb with her- but I never heard anything- came out of the restroom. I waved at her, she waved back but did not speak or come over to talk. He then said ok, and got up and said “ill see you around” and they left together. Without saying a word they said it all! They were together in one-way or another. And he kind of expressed he felt bad in a way even though he didn’t say it. If I had never gone back to climb he would have continued to ignore me and never reach out again. But seeing him forced him to face me and at least say something- whether verbal or non-verbal. I felt kind of bad because in one moment I lost a friend, someone to be intimate with, someone to hang out with, climb with, and all of the climbing friends he introduced me to that I had hung out with.

When I look back on it, there were warning signs but I was getting mixed signals the whole way. When we were together things seemed good, but apart was when it was the true tale of his feelings. All I can say is read the warning signs and if someone wants to see you/hang out with you/sleep with you/ talk to you they will- cultural differences or not!!!

asti said...

Thanks for sharing, "hope it works well but it didn't"! I agree with you. If a man is interested to a girl, he'll put an effort. I wish you better luck next time :)

Anonymous said...

HI! okay so first of all i think its cool that this was posted in 2009 but people are still responding to it. So im currently in Germany until the end of the year, but then im going back to the states. My family and i moved into this apartment building and i noticed this really cute kid who lives upstairs right away. I'm 16 and ive noticed him taking driving lessons so im guessing that he is 17-18 years old? Anyway he is SO cute, and im a mixed (white/honduran/african american) girl and im an average height but im not exactly skinny and I want to talk to him so so bad before i leave to go back home at the end of the year but I dont know how. Whenever he walks past my window or sees me, he seems to blush and look down but im awful at this stuff and dont know how to interpret that!!! any advice on how to get him to talk to me or how i can get the courage to finally go up to him?? I've never been in a relationship with a guy but im a hopeless romantic and so it kills me when i never get anywhere with these cute guys i see. I'm not a person who just puts myself out there but i really really think if i talked to him it could lead to something good!

asti said...

Hi American girl! Well I am sure you have learned some German language. Why don't you practice it with your crush? First, just say 'Halo' and maybe in the next encounter try to ask for some address. Am sure you can go creative. Good luck!

Nindya said...


I'm Indonesian girl. I would like to share my experience too about Germany guy.

I was knew him from MeowChat, he chatted me first then we had good conversation and continue it via Skype.

He has plan to travelling to Asia. Laos, Thailand, and Vietnam. About 2 months we had intense good conversation, he also change his travel destination to Indonesia too since we know each other. He send me his pictures at his workplace, the photo when he was kid, the place where he is.

He said that he like me, really like me and I'm touch his heart. Couple times he asked same question "why I'm not married yet?",
I asked same question too and he said " He not find the right one yet".
He even said "lets marry then" twice because we had much compatibility.

He asked question why I'm broke up with my boy friend, I also asked same question to him and he answer that They don't have same imagination of life, then I though he is Single.

The first time I'm not attracted to him at all, because he is 8 years older than me. Until I realized that he touch my heart, I like him too, he is nice person and humble. Then I want to make it clear because I don't want to waste my time of that feeling.

I asked him " Do you have girlfriend?", he answer YES and Worried Emoticon is following of him.

He said he felt bad, because he like me.
and I ask question ..
What kind of "Like" do you mean? :
1. A Guy to travelmate will be
2. Friend to friend
3. A man to woman

He cannot answer, he thinks its hard question. Then he explained, he said I'm special and cannot said more, he worried that I get angry or shocked. He don't want to lose me as good friend.

Now it's clear for me, yes I disappointed and feels bad to my feeling. But I think its better to know it now, then I know how to treat him.

He is already booked to fly to Indonesia next month, and I've already promise to accompany him to explore Lombok island one of beautiful island in Indonesia, we have plan to hiking together.

So, hope it will be going well and we can travel together as good friend.

Terima kasih

Anonymous said...


Im Indonesian girl here..
I just received the link of your blog this morning from a friend. She told me i should read this and tell her is that true about this German guy topic :D

Well im not a German expert but at the moment i have a German bf. Well he's more than just a bf because he roles lot of roles in my day. And yes for me not all Germans are in that stereotype (cold, stinky, etc etc). And at least im the lucky one who got an awesome German here.

Ive been visiting him and his family there and they are totally warm, open minded and really welcome.. So my bad thought about that cold and hard German was totally wrong 😅

What I love from my German (actually thats a long list but i'll try to write some):
1. He always say what he thinks. Explicit. No code and always be honest. He would say "you looks beautiful" and "i dont like you wearing those clothes" when he think so without any negative intension
2. Well planned and organized included our date schedule ;)
3. He knows what he wants in life and how to get there
4. He is a family man
5. He is respectful! He never forced me to do something that he wants unless i also want that (incl sex)
6. He is a gentleman. Well i never ask him to pay all bills and treat me like a lady, but he did that always in a proper and normal way
7. Intelligent and can talk like everything
8. No drama!
9. He is sweet (well for me) hehehe. He often sends me cards or gifs
Well i still have 5km list 😅

So well my bf also said most of Germans look or act as tge stereotype.. But theres also some which is not and totally different. Both types arent bad, it depends on how we can tolerate and compromised them (as a friend or lover).

Best luck for you, during your stay there.. I'll move there soon by the end of next year. Hopefully.. 😊

Moonie said...

Oh dear god. I think we make a lot of ideas on our mind, many times, to avoid the reality. Its true that german guys dont make the first move and are very polite to women, etc. I can say that based on my experience. BUT guys are the same everywhere. If after make it clear for him that you are interested on him and he still acts like this hot&cold stuff obviously he is not into you. Dont be so complicated pretty ladies! :) i dont think we should give so much attention to guys who dont make an effort. Remember that relationships with other are a reflect of relationship with ourselves. So be confident, respect your worth and love yourselves so you will meet amazing german/french/italian/whatever nationality men.

Enillor Love said...


This is my German-Guy experience.
I moved to a new county for studies and the first day at school in the evening I met this German Guy who just arrived in the country for studies as well but a different course.
Some chemistry occurred between the two of us and we noticed we like each other but he didn't make any move. During one of our conversations in school I told him I love just behind a shopping mall. When I got home that afternoon he sent me a text saying he want S to get something from the shop so I told him I could either give him directions or take him there.
He came over at my place where we had tea and talked for while and later on walked in the city for almost 3 hours.
The bond was becoming stronger and he took me home when it was night time already and hugged me. I was expecting a kiss but he didn't make any move.
He only text but never calls so one evening I asked if we could speak cause I had something important to tell him.
We spoke and I told him I like him and he said he like me too and he asked if we could go together to a party the school was organising.
So the next time we met he took me home again were both tipsy, he hugged me but I made the first move then we kissed passionately.

He told me he has an on-and -of relationship with a girl in Spain.

I am really in to him and want to get all his attention but don't want to look cheap.
Should I play hard to get ? If yes How?
Should I ask him his real intentions towards me?
How do I know if he just want sex?

Please help me.
Thank you

MD said...


Im Indonesian girl..Hes my 1st German guy. We met in a funny way. We date twice. And I spend 1 night with him too. Andthen he back to his country. He said he likes me, but not fallin in love? But we keep chat by Line etc. He rarely chat me 1st. I always chat him 1st. We chat everyday until now (3 months) I like him so much. He knows that I like him. He always replies my text.and sometimes he gives his selfie too. I love him. But I dont want force him to love me. I dont want he run away from me.

MD said...

My german guy said " I like you,but not fall in love" ?

Anonymous said...

Hey guys
So i been reading some of these messages and well i been having kinda the same problem. Im a college student and i met this german guy, hes been in my class and ever since the first day of school i noticed he is constantly staring at me. i dont have the highest self esteem so I figured something was wrong we me. After a few weeks i began to make small talk in return he asked me questions about my family, my last name and even made jokes about where im from. we vontinued this pattern on and off for a while. He will even get involved with my conversation between some of my friends when I am the topic of conversation. however when it is just me and him walking, he rarely is the first one to make conversation, he just tends to walk directly next to me. I am unsure why? Finally i was at a party and my friend went up to him and asked if he new me, he said yes she is jn my class, she asked him if he thought i was cute, he saif "no comment, if she wants anything she will need to make the first move". Some say this means he is uninterested, some say he is just shy. Is there any advice anyone can give me??

Anonymous said...

When I met my German penpal in November he took me to a museum. He was walking up the stairs ahead of me. This disappointed me a little but when I heard two guys speaking English behind me. I casually turned around and struck a short friendly conversation. I'm sure my German friend heard because after that he was always near me. At one point I even acted like I was about to leave a section but headed back and he followed me. We didn't really talk but I didn't let that bother me. I took it as him being shy. When we headed back to the hotel room and laid down after a long day I even inched closer to him and he put his arm around me. I kept looking at him and he could feel my lashes every time I opened my eyes. He told me I was looking at him creepy. I laughed it off and made a joke. I was shy so after a couple more times he looked at me again and I told him that he knew what I wanted. To stop being a jerk and just do it. He leaned in and kissed me. We made out but didn't want to rush anything. We talk all the time. He is super sweet. We even had times previous to us meeting (that one day) that we stopped talking. Happened twice (months between) over our two years of friendship but one of us always ended up contacting the other. A few times it was because we didn't want to bug each other. He even told me that he thought I didn't want to talk to him anymore. We have plans to meet a couple times this year.

From my experience, keep it fun and friendly and go with the flow. Most guys like girls with confidence but keep it classy. Im not sure if he is shy but I would say the same thing if a guy's friend was asking questions. If he wants to know he should man up and ask me himself. The fact that he didn't say no is a plus. I say go for it. Even if you get turned down Germans from my experience tend to be more polite about it. Just be yourself and don't come off as needy.
I told my German penpal that I would fly up to meet him on a weekend sometime. He was unsure about me flying that way to only spend a weekend with him. I told him it would be a good time for me to spend a few days in other countries as well to see friends so they didn't bug us during our week in August.That was exclusively our week together. He agreed and even wanted to take off a few extra days than I expected.
Don't complicate things, enjoy each other's company, and put yourself out there. We are keeping it casual for now and seeing where this leads but we both have expressed our feelings for each other. If he likes you he will put in effort. Don't be afraid to make the first move but you shouldn't be the one chasing him. It should be 50/50. He drove three hours to Berlin to see me on my last day I was there with my family. That's a six hours trip total. Hope the advice helps.

Unknown said...

I am middle eastern living in usa. I have two german coworkers. They were both staring at me a alot and smiling and looking at me everytime they were passing by my office. They were both flirting wirh me and after a long time, they started talking about their girlfriends. They are assholes.

lia said...

Hi everyone, I need some help...

Hi, so I was put together in a group for a group assignment with a german exchange student, and I really really like him. He seems shy.. So we talked about the assignment and stuff on our group whatsapp chat. I texted him personally to talk about our problem with our group members and stuff in which he would share the same opinion as i have about our bad group members. So when it was time to meet up for the group assignment, we decided to meet at the library. I was sitting at a small round table that sits four, and he came and sat next to me, we had a small chat about his tattoos, about travelling, and stuff like that. so when it was time to leave, the rest left immediately but he waited for me to get my stuff and whatnot. and we left together. I asked him if he wanted a ride in which he declined because he was heading to the cafeteria to get some food. i never sit next to him in class because i am that shy because i like him a lot and i dont wanna risk doing stupid things around him. And then one day, there was a quiz in class, and he looked back at me as i took my seat 2 seats behind him and said he doesn’t have the notes or something (it was an open book quiz) i dont even remember how i responded to him, i finished my quiz and left earlier than he did. and while i was waiting for my friend to finish hers (outside) he walked pass me, and i just pretended not to see him, and then later i realized that he had text me right about the time when i was pretending not to see him. he texted about how he might have screwed up the quiz and we had a small conversation that ended up in me asking him if he would like to go on a day trip to another state with me and a couple of friends and (one week uni break)i can be his tour guide in which he said yes but he will have to be spontaneous about it because he has soooo many things to do, 5 assignemnts that needed to be redone so yeah. he said to lets keep in touch and see how its goes. I mean, he didnt keep in touch with me so i didnt text him of course. so what did he mean when he said lets keep in touch?? a day before the day we were supposed to go, he said that he couldnt go because he spent 2 days with his friends and that he is only left with 5 days to finish his work. So I was bummed. He texted with smiley and stuff and said sorry and hope i have fun and stuff but i was just upset a little haha so just replied with “its alright :)” and we never texted until last night i texted him about class and if he knows our class is cancelled on friday or not, he said he doesnt know unfortunately :/ and i continued by saying that i think we have a bit more to cover and that i cant believe finals are just around the corner and that i will let him know if i hear anything. in which he responded with absolutley :) and that if he hears anything he’ll let me know :) I just love that he uses lots of smiley haha!

Anonymous said...

I've read those messages. Is German guy rally shy like that?!
And… here's my story…

I'm a Malaysian Chinese girl, I met the German guy 2 years ago, when we were in New Zealand for working holiday. We only stayed in the same hostel for around one week with other friends, and we didn't  talk much at that time. After one month, he texted me on Facebook, and we started to chat online maybe once a month. At the day before I left New Zealand, he was in Auckland as well and asked me to hang out. We had a coffee and walked around in the city in a sunny afternoon. He gave me a big hug and said something like 'Hope we could have the chance to meet again' before I was getting on the bus.

I think the above description is common for backpackers. And now, it's been 2 years since last time we met. I'm wondering is it common for German guy to contact with an abroad friend once a month (or more)? He sent me photos of he and his friends, the city he stays now (even though he told me he didn't believe in facebook) Last couple days, we chatted about how can I had the cheapest travel in Germany. He said, just find someone who has a car. I asked that did he meant I should hitchhike? He said, no he has a car and show me the places where he can take me to,  then gave me the dates of his holidays. Does those thing mean any move? But he has never flirted with me.

Actually, now I know much more about him than we were in New Zealand, and his personality got my attention by those conversations within the past 2 years. It's not easy for us, we live and grow up in totally different / far countries, and we are not students, both of us are around 30 years old now. I'm wondering what kinda mood I should take it to visit Germany.

Chels said...

Hi everyone,

This is such an amazing blog. Who would have thought so many of us girls out there are so confused by the beautiful humans that are German men hahaha.

Here is my story:

I am a 26yr old Australian girl who was traveling with my sisters through Spain in September last year. I was in a small bar/club in Madrid with a friend of mine Jess when all of a sudden I spot him come in through the front door with a friend (male). You know those moments when you see someone and feel so compelled to talk to them?? You have to know their story??

Well at the time I was on a break from my boyfriend so a bit hesitant to do anything. But I said to my friend, Jess you have to talk to at least one of those handsome men!!!

Anyway, they make their way through the crowd and we get their attention. Luckily (for me) she chose to talk to the friend and I was left staring at the amazingly handsome 6ft 3ish God of a man. Please note at this time, half of my face was painted and I had lost my voice making my English more difficult to understand than it should have been. And I am also aware that Australian English isn't always the prettiest to listen to haha! We talked for a good while when my friend interrupted and said her and the German friend were going to go back to their motel room. This left me with the handsome German (Daniel) at the club where we talked for hours.

I also was unsure about making the first move... but I was a little intoxicated by this stage and embarrassingly went with the line "Let's just see if our lips match" hahahahaha face palm! Anyway it worked and we spent the next couple of hours kissing mmhmmmmmmmmm.

I should add in here now that he was studying masters for a semester in Barcelona and was only in Madrid for the weekend. Just so happens that my tour would be going to Barcelona in a few days time. On my last night in Barcelona the same two boys came and met us at the bar we were at. Sober, as they had an exam the next morning (oh beautiful studious Germans). I loved seeing him again and he laughed and joked that he wanted to marry me haha.

We have talked every day since, he leaves me voice messages in whatsapp and as others have said will let me know if he can't reply etc.

Fast forward to last month. He came to visit me in Australia! He was already planning the trip when we met, however I helped him with his temp visa and things to do/see. He came to stay with me in my hometown and we fell back into a comfortable pattern. I wouldn't say there was any PDA or touchy feely during the day or around my family. But is always so considerate around me and respectful. I guess basically listening to me really intently and being genuinely interested.We were intimate each night and slept in the same bed afterwards. (So goooooood).

He also brought me over a Stein from his Dad's collection which was so special.

He is now traveling around the rest of Australia and still texts me most days. but like everyone above. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW HE SEES ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean, does he talk to me because he likes our conversation? Is he interested? Does he actually see this going anywhere when we are literally on opposite sides of the world? Will he ever really like listening to my strong Aussie accent? haha

I know after reading all of the above comments (which I have loved by the way) that the best thing to do is just to ask him directly. But I am also scared of what he will say and sometimes it's nicer just to stay in fairyland.

I wonder if anyone is out there still reading this. It was nice to get all of my thoughts out anyway :)


asti said...

Hi Chels!

I think German guys are trained to be nice and polite. They also take long time to make sure before deciding to date a girl. So, you may ask, but chance is he still need time to decide. Good luck!